This Love Is Not A Victory March

Part Five

Brittany appears in Kurt's doorway on the fourth day, finding him crying over RENT, with the lunch Carole carefully prepared and begged him to eat pushed aside without him even taking a bite. "Hi," she says softly, padding across his carpet in her sodden boots, sitting down next to him and slipping an arm around his shaking shoulders. "Blaine's mom got in touch with Sam last night. The hospital called her, and they've gotten the baby stabilised. We can go see her today. Sam and Tina and Artie all really want to come, but Sam and Tina are working and Artie has a Skype interview for a film school in Brooklyn. I thought I should drop by here and see if you want to come and meet Blaine's daughter."

Kurt glances up from the screen of his laptop, blinking lashes clumped together with tears at the earnest-faced blonde, mouth set in a taut line of worry. "I think you need to see him, Kurtie," she says softly, eyes warm with affection. "Even though he's unconscious, I think it'll help to see he's alive. He's not going to let go, Kurt. Not without seeing you again."

With a choked-back sob, Kurt slowly sits up and slides his feet into shoes, Brittany leaning over to switch off the screen, waiting patiently as he reins in his emotions, exhaling shakily as he stands in front of the mirror to fix his hair from the tangle it's become after lying in bed for four days. She slides her fingers between his as they leave, and he clasps her hand tight, letting it ground him from the fear that Blaine may never wake up.

They reached the hospital and Brittany gives Blaine's name to reception, the young woman there waving them through with a sympathetic smile, patting Brittany's shoulder as she gently tugs Kurt towards the room the receptionist gave them directions to, eager to see the baby. When he sees the crib, the tiny baby girl inside stretching and wriggling, so much like Blaine, Kurt drops Brittany's hand and backs away, weakly saying, "I think I'm just going to go and sit with Blaine. I don't want him to be alone."

Brittany nods, her eyes lighting up as a nurse comes over to help her lift the baby from the crib, and Kurt lets the door fall softly shut behind him, eyes blurring with tears. He wants that baby in Brittany's arms to be his, he wants it so badly, if only Blaine had gotten pregnant any of the times the two of them had made love without using protection, instead of with some stupid one night stand that broke them, sent their house of cards tumbling to the ground. She can still be his, Blaine can be his, they can have their family, but only if he wakes up. If he doesn't, Kurt has no idea what he'll do without him.

He has to take a deep breath before opening the door to Blaine's private room, but it still brings a lump to his throat and hot tears prickling at his eyes, seeing him just lying there, wired up to machines, ashen and in a standard-issue hospital gown. Pulling up a chair, Kurt sits down at the bedside, gripping Blaine's slack hand tightly between his, thumb stroking gently over his knuckles.

"I'm still in love with you, Blaine," he murmurs into the silence, the steady beep of the machine monitoring Blaine's heartrate the only other sound. "I never stopped loving you, even when I was so mad at you after you told me you were pregnant. I just had to calm down and think about it and learn to forgive your mistake, and I was ready to come and talk to you and ask you to be mine again when Tina calls and tells me you fainted during a rehearsal and there was blood everywhere and I come back and find out they had to deliver the baby early and she could've died and you could still die."

Blinking away the tears, the crystalline droplets slipping down his cheeks, falling into darkened spots on the pale blue of his jeans, Kurt continues, "I'm so proud of you, Blaine. You did this alone, you carried a baby, and you're still hanging on just like she did. She's a little fighter, Blaine, just like you. I know you can do this, I know you can fight your way out of this, I believe in you. I love you so much. If you can hear me, just give me a sign."

He sits there for what seems like an age, the silence pressing at his ears, so loud it hurts, tears dripping down his face as Blaine simply lies there, unresponsive, unable to hear him telling him everything he needs to know. Then it comes, so faint it might merely be a fantasy, barely audible above the beeping of the machine: "Krrt."

"Blaine?" Kurt gasps in amazement, squeezing Blaine's hand tight. "Oh my God, say it again, baby. Say my name, squeeze my hand, show me you can hear me."

Silence reigns once more, but only for a second, then Blaine's fingers curl slightly against Kurt's palm, the word slipping from his lips in no more than a breath: "Kurt."

Kurt almost screams, clinging to Blaine's hand as he shouts, "He's waking up, Blaine's waking up, we need a nurse!" and hears someone running to them, cheeks stretching with a grin through his tears, gazing down at Blaine and feeling like he's falling in love on a staircase all over again.

A kind-faced nurse ushers him gently from the room, explaining, "We need to run some tests on Blaine, and his parents need to see him first. We'll have him ready to see you at the same time tomorrow. Can you wait that long?"

"For him?" Kurt glances at Blaine, lying in the bed with doctors gathering around him. "I'll wait forever."

When Kurt returns to the hospital the next day, he visits the baby first, seeing on the familiar nurse's face that they're still checking Blaine over. Wriggling in her crib, so small it seems Kurt could hold her in just his hands, this tiny girl is so precious, blinking round blue eyes up at him as he lifts her into his arms, sitting carefully down and making sure he supports her tiny head. They sit in silence for what could be seconds or days, gazing at each other, open and honest and sweet.

"God, look at you," he murmurs reverently, ghosting a hand over her soft dark hair. "You are so beautiful, baby. You look just like Blaine, you really do. I'm sure you can't wait to meet him. He's excited to meet you too, sweetheart. He wanted you really badly. You'll be the most important person in his life. And maybe you could be our baby, hmm? Would you like that, sweetie?"

"Well, I don't know about her," comes a familiar voice, and Kurt wheels around to see Blaine behind him, standing on his own two feet, grinning at him, "but I'd certainly like that."

"Oh my God," Kurt breathes, eyes filling with tears and vision blurring, hiding the bright glow of Blaine's smile. "Oh my God, Blaine, you're okay."

He lays the baby back in her crib and stumbles towards Blaine, legs weak with relief. Blaine opens his arms, expecting a hug, but Kurt's hands encircle Blaine's waist and he tugs him into a fierce kiss, a kiss that means he never wants to let go, a kiss that means he's forgiven, a kiss that means four days thinking he was going to die were the worst of his life. It's a kiss that says so many things he doesn't to how to say, or is afraid to say, or simply can't say without choking up. Blaine kisses back just as deeply, arms wound around Kurt's neck.

When Kurt breaks the kiss, breathing heavy, smiling tenderly as he watches Blaine's eyes flutter gently open, Blaine softly asks, "Does this mean-"

"I'm yours, if you'll be mine," Kurt whispers, gently squeezing Blaine's hands. "I love you, Blaine. I've always loved you, and I don't care who the father of your baby is, I want to be her dad. I'm so proud of you for dealing with this alone, and I want to be here now."

"Kurt, I love you too," Blaine whispered, tucking his chin over Kurt's shoulder and clinging to him. "So, should we name her? I haven't thought of anything really, but I like Grace for her middle name, and I want her to be a Hummel-Anderson."

"Scarlett?" Kurt suggests, looking down at their daughter, blinking sleepily in her crib. "She's a fighter, just like you, it seems appropriate. Scarlett Grace Hummel-Anderson."

"I love it," Blaine says reverently, tucking an errant strand of hair back behind Kurt's ear. "I love you."

With a bright smile, Kurt kisses him again, wrapping him close in his arms, their daughter looking on as they silently vow to never let go again.