No answer. Blaine knocked again, longer and louder this time. Nothing. He took a shaking breath and felt his confidence waver, nearly failing him, his nerves fighting against it. He waited in front of the door, his body craving to flee but his mind rooting him to the carpet under the soles of his shoes. His resolve was fading fast, dissolving faster than a grain of salt in a glass of warm water. Perhaps Kurt wasn't home.

Blaine waited silently in the hallway for a full minute before raising his knuckles to the door and knocking them loudly against the wood one last time. He waited in silence again, waiting for something, anything to happen. Nothing did. He looked up at the door, giving it one last fleeting glance before sighing and dropping his head, his confidence shot and his nerves fraying. His shoulders slumped and he shook his head, it was a stupid idea anyway. He sighed and turned away from the door and began walking back the way he had come.

He had taken all of three steps before the wooden door flew open and banged loudly against the wall, echoing around the empty hallway. Blaine whirled around, his heart all but exploding behind his ribs.

Kurt stood in the doorway, his cheeks colorless as he took in Blaine who was frozen in the hallway. He had dark purple bags under his eyes and a scarf wrapped hastily around his pale neck though it was summer and the scarf didn't match his outfit in the slightest.

"Kurt," Blaine gasped, unable to make his brain form any other kind of intelligent response in his shocked state.

"Hi Blaine," he replied breathlessly, his voice an octave higher than normal. They stood there in the hall, neither man saying anything, just staring at each other like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck. Kurt shifted uncomfortably and clenched and unclenched his hands, his eyes bugging out of his head and his mouth pressed in a tight line. His lips parted and he drew a shallow breath, "would you like to come in?"

Blaine hesitated, feeling his confidence drain out of him like someone had pulled the plug in a full bathtub. "I-I…" he sighed, "sure." Blaine stepped past Kurt and into the apartment, his heart racing a mile a minute.

He strode into the kitchen and watched as Kurt followed him in and leaned against the counter across from where he was standing. Again, silence followed them into the room, the air thick and tense between the large gap between their bodies. Blaine reached into his pocket and withdrew Kurt's cell phone, holding it flat out on his palm, "last ni— you— I-I forgot this was in my pocket. Y-You asked me to hold it for you. I didn't mean to forget." Blaine stretched out his arm as far away from his body as it would go, unwilling to be the one to cross the no-man's-land space between them.

"Oh," Kurt replied briefly. He looked ambivalent about stepping forward, but he took the necessary two steps and reached for the phone, his long fingers lightly brushing against Blaine's. Both men recoiled from the contact, Blaine dropping his arm as soon as the cell phone left his palm and was safely held in Kurt's hand. Kurt stepped back as soon as he had the device and leaned back against the counter. He clicked the buttons on the cellphone and checked his messages, his eyes darting back and forth reading the text on the screen.

Blaine stood there awkwardly as Kurt checked his phone, unable to decide if he should flee out the door before Kurt had the chance to finish reading them or waiting it out. He felt like his heart was going to completely explode it was beating so hard and so fast against the inside of his ribs. Why did I come here, this was a stupid idea.

"Thanks," Kurt said looking up from his phone before gingerly setting it down on the counter top behind him.

"You're welcome," Blaine replied, offering a quivering smile. They lapsed back into an uncomfortable silence once again, both of their eyes shifting and not settling for too long on one thing, especially not each other.

It was Kurt who broke the heavy silence this time, "I have to pick up my family from the airport."

Blaine nodded quickly, "right, I-I'll go." He hesitantly turned his back to Kurt and walked over to the front door, grabbing the knob tightly. He couldn't bring himself to open the door.

He took a deep breath through his nose and let it out noisily, feeling his determination flicker like a dying candle sputtering just before someone blew it out. "Kurt," he began. He released the door knob and turned to face Kurt who was still leaning against the counter in the kitchen, "last night…"

Kurt sighed and dropped his head, "Blaine," he said in a warning tone, the note in his voice clearly stating he didn't want it brought up.

"I think we need to talk," Blaine said hesitantly, walking back into the kitchen to where he had been standing before.

"About what specifically?" Kurt asked, arching an eyebrow. The paleness of his cheeks and the hard set of his mouth betrayed him, he knew what was coming.

"L-Last night. We need to talk about last night," Blaine stammered, twisting his fingers together anxiously.

Kurt shook his head, "oh no, we-we really don't."

"Kurt," Blaine said more firmly, looking up and meeting his startled gaze, "we have to discuss this."

"There is nothing to discuss," Kurt snapped, "nothing happened last night."

"Right and you're wearing that scarf because it's fucking cold outside," Blaine scoffed sarcastically.

Kurt scowled, "it's fashion Blaine, not that you would know about that anymore."

"At least I know enough to match," Blaine grunted lunging forward and snatching the sloppily draped scarf from around Kurt's neck. The scarf slid away from Kurt's neck easily, and Blaine gripped the fabric in his hands tightly as he studied the hickeys that trailed along Kurt's pale neck. Blaine shook his head and angrily tossed the scarf back at Kurt.

The taller man didn't flinch, he simply snatched the scarf out of the air and slammed the garment down on the counter next to him, glowering at Blaine who stood a few feet back. With the scarf gone the evidence was in plain view and as if to make his point, Blaine roughly undid the first button on his shirt and yanked the collar down so that his own hickeys were in plain sight. Kurt studied them through narrow eyes, his jaw clenched and his nostrils flared.

"You can lie to everyone else Kurt, but you can't lie to yourself and you sure as hell can't lie to me about what happened last night," Blaine snarled.

"Just drop it Blaine!"

"No!" Blaine bellowed, his voice booming loud, "we will discuss this!"

"There is nothing to discuss!"

"Like hell there isn't Kurt!"

Kurt's eyes burned with anger, "I was drunk! We were drunk Blaine! Neither of us had any control over what we were doing!" Kurt bellowed back, his voice rough and cold.

"That's no excuse for—"

"We. Were. Drunk!" Kurt spat.

"I wasn't!" Blaine asserted, throwing his hands in the air.

"Excuse me?"

"I wasn't drunk last night," Blaine said again, his arms falling limply to his sides.

Kurt made repulsed noise deep in his throat, "I was drunk and you took advantage of me?"

"No!" Blaine shouted again, "you—"

"You took advantage of me while I wasn't in control of my actions?"

Kurt demanded in an accusatory tone.

"I didn't—"

"How could you!"

"Don't you dare make me out to be the bad guy here!" Blaine shouted, "you started it!"

"I—"

"You kissed me!" Blaine screamed, loud enough for it to probably reach the hallway.

"I was drunk! You're the one who took advantage of that!"

"No, I stopped! Me! Not you!"

"I would not have gone any further than we did," Kurt glared, his gaze defensive and seething.

"Really? From all the moaning you were doing last night, you could have fooled me," Blaine barked, purposefully aiming that low blow.

Kurt's cheeks flamed red hot, "I'm engaged to Glen," he spat.

Blaine barked out a cold laugh, "funny," he laughed, "you told me you loved me last night."

Kurt's already flushed cheeks turned a beet red, his eyes bulging in their sockets, "I was drunk," he snarled.

"Ever hear of the saying when alcohol talks, secrets walk?" Blaine asked angrily.

"For Christ's sake Blaine!" Kurt shouted, "it was just sex! That's it! Nothing more!"

Blaine felt like he had been physically punched, "so that's it then? That's all I'm good for now? After everything we've been through, that's all I'm good for? When your fucking husband is gone all the time, you think you can just come to me? I'm just here to be your little fuck buddy? That's all I am to you?" Blaine demanded, every question louder and more hysterical than the last. "To hell with me and how I feel, just so long as you get fucking laid?"

"No, it's not like that at all!" Kurt cried.

Blaine rolled his eyes threw his arms out again, "then what the hellis it?"

Kurt shook his head, "I don't know what you're getting at," he replied, crossing his arms in exasperation.

"Well," Blaine barked, his anger really boiling over, "last night was either one of two things. Either you were just using me because your God damn fiancé is too busy for you and you think I'm just a piece of ass that's going to be around for you to have whenever you want it—"

"I told you it's not—"

"Save it Kurt, let me finish," Blaine snapped, his body visibly shaking with rage. "Or you still have some kind of feelings for me. Which is it?"

Kurt shook his head, "I-I…" he stammered, his mouth opening and closing and his brow knitting together as the color in his cheeks drained.

"Which is it?" Blaine demanded again, trying to judge Kurt's answer from his face.

"No," Kurt replied.

"No what?"

"No! Neither! I don't know!" Kurt wailed, his hands flying into his hair and tangling in the chestnut locks at the nape of his pale neck.

"Of course you know!" Blaine yelled, his mounting frustrations were really boiling over now. After all this time he wanted answers, he deserved answers. What the hell was going on? Why did he just end his relationship with the perfect man? Why has he been tossing and turning at night for weeks? Why has his whole world been turned upside down? Kurt. All the answers lie with Kurt. And he wanted those answers now.

"What am I to you?" Blaine asked more calmly, shaking his head. "Am I anything to you? Anything at all?"

Kurt dropped his hands, "of course," he replied, his brow furrowing.

"Then what am I? Some guy you can just walk all over? Am I just here for you to play with me like a fucking yo-yo for your entertainment?"

"God, no Blaine!" Kurt shot back.

"Then what? I deserve answers Kurt. What was last night? What was it to you?" Blaine asked, his anger wavering.

Kurt's jaw went slack a moment before he clenched his teeth together and chewed his bottom lip.

Blaine heaved an exasperated sigh and thrust his hands into his pockets, Kurt's silence was more frustrating than his responses. "What have these last few weeks been to you? Did they mean anything? Or were you just setting me up—"

"Jesus Blaine! No! I was not setting you up for anything! I'm not using you! How many times to I have to say it?"

"Then, what was last night?" Blaine snarled, making each word one hard sentence. "How many times to have to ask it?"

Kurt heaved a hard, frustrated sigh, "we were just… fooling around!" he exclaimed grasping for words.

"Fooling around?" Blaine asked arching an eyebrow. Kurt nodded. "Ha! Fooling around? It started with a kiss, you started it with a kiss. Then it turned into fooling around. Then you said you loved me. What the hell is that?" Blaine asked hysterically.

Kurt shook his head, his eyebrows knotting together angrily above his crystal eyes, "nothing," he grumbled defensively.

"You told me you love me."

"I don't."

Blaine nodded to himself, glaring at the floor, "want to know where I went after I left last night?" he half-snarled, looking back up at Kurt, "I went to Nate's apartment," he spat, letting Kurt fill in the blanks of what happened after that. He immediately regretted the words that came out of this mouth. Kurt didn't need to know that. Why the hell did I just say that? Blaine scolded himself. Was it an attempt to make Kurt jealous? Yes. Blaine grit his teeth and glared at the floor beneath his feet, feeling like an idiot. Like he would be jealous, his thoughts sneered. Stupid.

Kurt was silent, so Blaine dared to look back at the man in front of him. Kurt winced and the color that had been building in his cheeks had flushed away, leaving pale white skin in its wake. The look confused him, he expected Kurt to retort with some snarky comment about sloppy seconds, but instead he was pale as a ghost and dead silent. Blaine's heart sputtered a moment, his frustration stuttering before rebuilding in his chest the longer Kurt was silent. He decided to seize the opportunity and try to get Kurt to say something, "you do still have feelings for me."

"No I don't," Kurt asserted, regaining his composure.

"Your silence there just said more than anything you've said this whole conversation!" Blaine exclaimed before he could stop himself, his frustrations with Kurt and the whole situation building more and more. "You have feelings for me."

"No!" Kurt shouted, his cheeks taking on a pinkish hue again.

"You said so last night—"

"I told you last night meant nothing. I do not have feelings for you—"

"Just admit it!"

Kurt's face was beet read now, "I AM NOT in love with you!" he boomed.

Blaine closed his eyes and lunged forward, arms extended, and trapped Kurt's face in his hands. He brought his lips crashing down on Kurt's pressing them heatedly and firmly against Kurt's frozen, unmoving ones. The kiss was brief and dry, Blaine pulled away only so that his lips were barely touching Kurt's and opened his eyes. "Now," he breathed in a growl against Kurt's open mouth, "look me in the eye and tell me you didn't feel anything."

Kurt was breathless, "I—"

Blaine didn't give him the chance to respond, he pressed his lips against Kurt's again in another electric kiss. Kurt's lips were still immobile as Blaine moved his mouth against them anyway, his hands on Kurt's face tight as a vice. Kurt brought his hands up and pressed them against Blaine's chest, making to shove him away. But Blaine tightened his grip and deepened the kiss, pressing his open mouth flat against Kurt's lips.

He felt Kurt's tight muscles melt under his hands. Kurt sighed into the pressure and his lips finally sparked to life, molding themselves against Blaine's. Blaine sighed too, pressing himself flush with Kurt's body against the counter as Kurt's hands moved from Blaine's chest to the back of his neck to pull him closer. Their mouths moved quickly against each other's, their lips sucking hungrily as they clung to each other. In that moment they were Kurt and Blaine, nothing else.

Their bodies fused together and their mouths worked hastily, letting all the anger, frustration, and passion drive their lips. Their frantic heartbeats pounded furiously, and their bodies trembled as their heads were spinning and drunk off of each other.

Blaine could feel his whole body engulfed in a deep blush and he could feel the heat of Kurt's cheeks in the palms on his hands as they framed his face. His whole body was quivering uncontrollably as his tingling lips moved with Kurt's in wonderfully familiar, desperate patterns. His insides roiled as butterflies erupted his chest and fluttered in his limbs, his head getting cloudy.

Kurt's knees wavered and almost gave out on him, he clutched tighter to Blaine's neck for support. His lips faltered against Blaine's and Blaine could feel moisture spread over Kurt's cheeks under his thumbs. More tears fell from Kurt's clenched eyes and Blaine slowed his lips, his head buzzing as he came down from the high. He pressed his swollen lips softly and sweetly to Kurt's once more before pulling back and resting their foreheads together. He sighed in contentment and opened his eyes to see Kurt's wide blue ones staring back at him filled with tears. He brushed his thumbs gently over Kurt's cheeks, tenderly wiping away the salty tears.

Kurt drew a shaky breath, "why did you come to New York? Why did you have to come back?" he asked in a choked whisper.

Blaine sighed and shook his head slightly, the tip of his nose barely ghosting against Kurt's. "You want to know the real reason I dropped out of school and lived in Ohio with my parents for five years?" he asked closing his eyes, "you. I stayed in Ohio for all that time because it was the only piece of you I had left," he breathed.

Kurt sniffed and Blaine wiped away more tears with his thumbs as their foreheads rested together. "What about now?" Kurt whispered sounding like a child, scared and vulnerable.

Blaine shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, "I left Nate."

Kurt pulled his forehead away to look Blaine dead in the eye, "b-but you said you went over to his apartment last night."

Blaine closed his eyes and took a deep breath, he needed to get this off his chest, "last night made me realize that he isn't the man I'm in love with," he opened his eyes looked deeply into Kurt's, "I-I'm still in love you, Kurt."

Kurt's mouth fell open, his lips trembling, "I-I—," Kurt whispered, his voice hitching with a quiet sob.

"Say it," Blaine whispered pressing his forehead against Kurt's again. "P-Please Kurt, I need to hear it," he begged clenching his eyes shut.

"Blaine," Kurt whined quietly, squeezing his eyes shut to bite back more tears.

"Please," Blaine breathed, barely a whisper. He placed a tiny kiss on the tip of Kurt's nose, "please," he breathed. He pressed another kiss on Kurt's jaw, "please Kurt, I need to know," he begged in a whisper, his voice breaking. He pulled back and looked into Kurt's crystal eyes, fighting the tears that Kurt had already given into. He gently brushed his thumbs across Kurt's cheekbones and leaned in, "please," he breathed against Kurt's lips before kissing him tenderly, his lips just barely putting pressure against Kurt's. Tears had broken through his lashes by the time he pulled away from the kiss, "tell me," he begged, his voice thick with emotion.

Kurt's face crumbled and his whole body went limp under Blaine's touch, dissolving with a sob as he fell into Blaine. Blaine wrapped his arms securely around Kurt, as he fell into his arms and sobbing loudly into his shoulder. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine and clutched him close, his whole body shaking and muffled sobs ripping their way up his throat.

Blaine was crying too, finally giving into the tears he had been so desperately trying to fight. He held Kurt tightly and pressed a kiss into the man's temple. Blaine brought his hand to the back of Kurt's neck and ran his fingers through the hair at the base of his skull, whispering broken soothing words in his ear as he cried with Kurt.

"Shhh, it's o-okay Kurt. Shhhhhh," Blaine breathed in his ear, trying to keep his voice as controlled and reassuring as his own tears would allow. Kurt didn't say anything in return, he just sobbed and clutched onto Blaine for dear life as Blaine whispered to him and placed tiny kisses on any inch of flesh he could reach without moving Kurt. He placed another on Kurt's neck over the bruises he made last night, "it'll b-be alright." He rubbed small circles in between Kurt's shoulder blades when he started calming down, his sobbing less hysterical and turning into small whimpers. The tears didn't ebb though, even when he lifted his head from Blaine's shoulder and loosened his death-grip on the shorter man. Blaine brought one hand up and wiped away Kurt's tears, brushing along his cheeks with a feather light touch. He gave the best reassuring smile he could while he still cried and planted a firm kiss on Kurt's forehead, eliciting a light sob from the taller man.

Kurt took a deep and quivering breath, "Blaine," he began jaggedly, "I-I think I meant what I said last night," he choked out in between gasps, "and you're right. I-I still care about you. A lot," he sniffled.

Blaine's heart stopped, "y-you do?" he breathed.

Kurt clenched his eyes and nodded, "and I wasn't using you last night, Blaine," he blurted, his words coming out in a rush. "I would never, ever do that to you. I never wanted to hurt you," he continued, drawing a shallow breath, "because I still love you."

Blaine's heart bounded through his chest, a smile quirked the corner of his lips and he felt elated, the tears flowing from his eyes extending from his sheer joy and relief. Those few words were the single most beautiful words in the most beautiful voice he had ever heard. He pressed his lips to Kurt's again with the corners of his lips still lifted in a grin, their tears mingling together. He pulled away and rested their foreheads together, his eyes closed and a relieved smile spread over his face.

"I've never stopped loving you, Kurt," he whispered, his voice a little thick. Kurt gave a tiny sob and clenched his eyelids shut, the tears still seeping through his lashes. "I love you," Blaine said again, basking in the glorious feeling of being able to say those three words and mean every one of them. Kurt started sobbing harder again, releasing Blaine and burying his face in his hands. "Kurt, what's wrong?" Blaine rubbed his hands along Kurt's arms, trying to calm him down again. "Don't cry," Blaine cooed, "everything's fine," he said, a smile dawning on his face.

"No!" Kurt wailed into his hands, his sobs coming harder and harder until his shoulders were shaking and his chest was heaving. "None of it matters!"

"What's wrong? Kurt, calm down," Blaine soothed wrapping his arms around Kurt's trembling frame.

Kurt shoved Blaine away, gasping for air, "Don't you get it?" Kurt shrieked frantically wiping fresh tears from his face.

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked, completely clueless.

"This doesn't change anything!" Kurt sobbed pulling at his hair.

Blaine could feel the tears welling in his eyes again, terror gripping his chest, threatening to send him spiraling, "w-what are you saying?" he asked quietly, his voice breaking.

"It doesn't matter Blaine! Nothing matters! We can't do this!" Kurt wailed throwing his hands in the air. He wrapped his arms around his middle and sobbed.

Blaine couldn't breathe, his throat closed and his heart felt like it was going to fall out of his chest. "Y-Yes we can. We can try. I'll do anything," Blaine stammered. Kurt shook his head and let out a broken sob. "Please!" Blaine cried, eyes burning with tears. "I love you!" He stumbled forward and reached for Kurt who only shoved Blaine's arms away. "What can I do?" Blaine asked, his voice hitching.

"There is nothing to do, Blaine!" Kurt cried, "I'm getting married tomorrow!"

"Y-You're still getting married to him?"

"Ye—"

"But you said you're in love with me!" Blaine wailed, his nails biting the inside of his palms as he balled his fists.

"You think this is easy?" Kurt cried, hot tears falling down his cheeks. "To know I've hurt you so much? Do you think this has been any easier for me? Damn it Blaine, do you think I haven't regretted losing you?" Kurt asked, swiping away the tears from his face. "I never wanted to lose you. I got distracted with everything else around me and I couldn't make enough time for you. I knew I was hurting you by being so distant and I cried myself to sleep for months because I felt like I was slipping away from you and I couldn't stop myself no matter how hard I tried!" he howled. "And then Glen came along and I got so confused. He showered me with all of this attention that I had been missing and the night he kissed me I stayed up all night crying because I knew I had slipped too far away from you to come back."

Blaine could feel his eyes burning as he listened to Kurt, all the thoughts he had built up over the years scrambling up in an unintelligible mess.

"I couldn't string you along anymore, I knew how much I was upsetting you and distracting you from school. I had to set you free. I thought I was doing what was best for both of us."

"You think running off with Glen was best for us?" Blaine asked, his voice cracking on the last word.

"No!" Kurt exclaimed throwing his hands up in front of him, "but we couldn't fix what we had. I moved on and assumed you did too. I didn't know you went back to Ohio."

Blaine could feel the hole Kurt's admission punched through his chest. He had always blamed Kurt for his heart ache, he always assumed Kurt wasn't hurting at all. Blaine wiped some residual tears off his cheeks with the back of his hand, "and if you were so happy with Glen, why did you bother talking to me these last few weeks?"

"I wanted to make things right between us," he murmured, "I wanted to be your friend again. I've missed you. I didn't realize until it was too late that I still have feelings for you."

Blaine shook his head and placed his hands on Kurt's upper arms, "it's not too late," he murmured hopefully.

Kurt squeezed more tears through his eyelids and nodded, "it is. I'm getting married to Glen tomorrow."

"But what about this?" Blaine choked shaking Kurt's shoulders lightly, "Us. You said you still love me."

Kurt sobbed, "I know. I know," he whispered.

Blaine saw the defeat in Kurt's eyes and refused to let him give up. "He's no good for you Kurt!" Blaine wailed. "He doesn't love you like I do!"

"He does—"

"He's never here! You're unhappy," Blaine sniffed.

"I-I'm happy…."

Blaine shook his head, "we were happy once. I can make you happy, Kurt. Please just give me a chance," he begged.

"And what Blaine?" Kurt snapped meeting his eyes and shrugging Blaine's hands off him. "Just let you sweep me off my feet again? We aren't seventeen anymore! We're in the real world, with real problems."

"Please," Blaine whispered, "I'll do anything."

"It didn't work the first time, why would it work now?"

"Just give me another chance to show you why you fell in love with me all those years ago."

"I have too much invested with Glen, what do you want me to do Blaine?"

"Be with me," Blaine answered swallowing hard and fighting back the tears.

"It's not that simple," Kurt sniffed, crossing his arms.

"Yes it is," Blaine breathed stepping close to Kurt and running his hands over his upper arms. He brought his hand up and gripped Kurt's chin, making him look into his eyes. "I love you, Kurt Hummel." Blaine leaned in and kissed Kurt sweetly, trying to convey every feeling of his being in that one kiss. Kurt kissed him back with the same passion and tender intensity Blaine was feeling, his lips still trembling.

Kurt pulled away and placed a hand on Blaine's cheek. "And I love you, Blaine Anderson," he whispered, Blaine smiled a broken smile. "But we can't. I can't be with you. I can't keep hurting you." Kurt keened. "Sorry will never be enough to fix what I've done. I'm marrying Glen. You have to let me go."

Blaine shook his head, and placed his hand on Kurt's that was resting on his cheek, tears welling in his eyes, "why must I always say goodbye to you?" he whispered to himself in defeat. He ran his hand over the residual tears on his cheeks, fighting the urge to sob. This is it. Blaine could feel his chest fill with lead as the life just drained out of his face. He couldn't bear to stay any longer, else he be reduced to a pile of bones sobbing at Kurt's feet. "You have to pick up your family," he mumbled dejectedly. "I-I should go." He dropped their hands and left Kurt standing alone in the kitchen. He strode into the living room and reached for the door handle.

"Wait!" Kurt called stepping out of the kitchen, "will I see you tomorrow?"

Blaine dropped his head but didn't turn away from the door as he answered, "you know I would do anything for you Kurt, but please don't ask me watch your father give you away to another man." He turned to face Kurt who had tears in his eyes again, "goodbye Kurt." Blaine turned toward the door again and turned the handle, pushing the heavy wooden door open.

"Blaine!" Kurt cried, bounding across the room in three long strides. Blaine turned just in time for him to catch Kurt in his arms as the taller man crashed into him. Kurt cupped his face in his hands and pressed his lips firmly against Blaine's. Blaine sighed into the kiss, letting himself feel everything, knowing it would be the last time he held this man in his arms. He wrapped Kurt up and held him close, losing himself there in the open doorway of the apartment.

The kiss lasted a long time, neither man willing to break the embrace and destroy the little bubble of tragic happiness that surrounded them. Blaine could feel his heart physically breaking in his chest the longer he held the kiss, the pain too much to bear.

Kurt was the one to break contact first, leaning back and looking Blaine in the eye, "I love you, Blaine," he whispered brokenly.

"I'll always love you, Kurt," he murmured in reply, letting his arms slide from Kurt's waist and fall to his sides. He stepped backward into the hall without breaking eye contact with Kurt until he was completely out of the apartment. Kurt brought a hand up to cover his mouth as he reached for the doorknob and slowly closed the door in Blaine's face, the lock clicking into place with a deafening finality. Blaine could hear a muffled sob come from the other side of the door and turned away, unable to stand alone in the hall anymore, his body yearning to open the door and wrap Kurt in his arms.

He left the apartment building and hailed a cab, his actions numb and robotic. He couldn't feel anything anymore and yet he felt everything all at once. He didn't know what to feel. He didn't want to feel. The cab ride was long and lonely as he was left alone with his scrambled mind and the ripping ache in his chest. He paid the driver mechanically when they arrived at his apartment and he took the stairs slowly, unable to make his body move any faster. His whole world had turned upside down in a matter of days and he didn't know what to do, there was nothing to do. He collapsed onto his bed fully clothed, exhaustion and pain making him weary, and passed out.