
March 18, 2013, 2:01 a.m.
March 18, 2013, 2:01 a.m.
It started out small – a few hours in the afternoon here, a half-day there. For once Kurt was grateful that his job was something ordinary and mostly unimportant, at least in the grand scheme of things, because that made it easy for him to take the time off. There were enough people in his department that his boss never flinched when he gave a short notice along the lines of "I'd like to take the rest of the day off, starting in half an hour," but that also might have had to do with the quality of work he put out when he was there. With no real reason to complain, there wasn't much his boss could say. It wasn't like he could predict when he'd want to go, so at least he could appreciate that aspect of where he worked – and also having the vacation hours to do it since he never went anywhere.
Blaine wasn't always there, and sometimes no one was. Kurt found it the eeriest when he was the only person there, but it was also peaceful. He liked being able to unplug his headphones and have the music surrounding him in the room. That was another factor that made it different than being at work, being able to have something not so contained just to him internally, being able to release and unplug. It was one of the best feelings in the world, to turn up the cuffs on his sleeves, maybe undo a button of his shirt, and not be attached to anything. He felt liberated every time.
Even when someone else was there, it wasn't as though Kurt ever felt intruded upon. It seemed to be a very live-and-let-live atmosphere for the most part, though with the occasional footsteps moving past the door and pausing just long enough for him to know someone was there. Brittany came in once or twice to ask him what he was listening to, and then would usually scrawl the song title and artist on her arm with a marker he'd grown accustomed to seeing tucked behind her ear. Blaine was the only one who would stop in for longer than a question or two, who would actually sit and take the time to hold a conversation. He never felt like he was taking away from the time Kurt had there because talking to Blaine always made Kurt feel fortified in what he was doing.
While Kurt had a lot to show for his time there, so many experiments in different mediums that the room that had been deemed his was quickly filling and no longer so drab and plain, he hadn't done anything where he felt like it was worth being seen next to the works he knew would be published. There still wasn't any pressure, and Blaine was more than encouraging and confident in Kurt's talent and prowess, but Kurt just didn't feel right about any of what he'd done in that particular frame of reference. That was why he went every time – not just to get what was in his head out onto the paper, the canvas, whatever he had, but also to try and find that piece that was worth more.
User TCOCHA is requesting access to remotely control your computer. Yes or No.
It had been months since Kurt had seen that message pop on his computer the first time, and it sent a thrill through him when it happened again. TCOCHA had been pushed to the back of his mind thanks to everything else that emerged since that first day, and other than knowing that it wasn't Blaine he had no idea who it could be. There were all the people he saw infrequently at the warehouse, some he'd gotten to know a little better than others, but he wouldn't have even known where to start guessing with any of them.
He clicked 'Yes' without hesitation.
Hello, Kurt. Still stuck here? :(
You should take the rest of the day off.
It would be worth your while, but act quickly...
Kurt had no idea why he'd expected it to be any less cryptic than the first time, but there it was. He stared at the screen a long moment before typing out an email to his boss that he was going to take the rest of the day off "if that's alright with you, I just had something come up suddenly that I need to take care of." His emails always tried to reference some sort of event or circumstance so it didn't seem like he was taking off just for the sake of not being there, though he kind of was and wasn't at the same time. The response was almost immediate that it was fine for him to do so, but he was already halfway through collecting his bag and closing out of all the programs on his computer by that time.
It didn't strike him until he was on the elevator to get down to the ground level that he wasn't sure what he was going to do with his day. He assumed he would just go to the warehouse like he always did, but it was the fact that TCOCHA had said it would be worth his while,but act quickly. That sentence ran through his head over and over, his brow furrowing in thought, until he got down to the lobby and crossed it to go out to the sidewalk like he did every day and saw what they must have meant.
Blaine was leaning on the side of the building just outside the door, and Kurt took the moment before he looked up to appreciate what he was wearing. When he saw Blaine at the warehouse, he always looked well put together but with an air of comfort. There outside Kurt's office building, he looked like he could walk into any of the buildings and fit right in, though maybe a little too dressy for a generic desk job. No one in Kurt's department wore bow ties, for example, and Blaine was sporting a purple one. Kurt had just enough time to take in the fit of all his clothes before their eyes met and a smile brightened Blaine's face.
"Kurt, hi!"
"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked, stepping over next to him to stay out of the way of pedestrians passing by.
"I was going to go take pictures," Blaine replied, holding up his camera. "Thought you might like to come along?"
"Oh, I – sure." Kurt paused, adjusting how his bag was on his shoulder before gesturing up toward the building. "Is this what that was about?"
"What? Oh, yes. I mean, I don't have your phone number and I wasn't sure what security was like here. Seemed like the most foolproof way." He shrugged and Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Why, what did she say?"
"To leave, and if I did it quickly it would be worth my while."
"I think she gets bored and therefore cryptic," Blaine said with a laugh, shaking his head. "All I asked was for her to tell you that if you wanted to come with me, I would be down here waiting for fifteen minutes or so before I went."
They made their way to the subway and a few stops away before Blaine nodded for them to get off. It was interesting to see him in a different setting than usual, and even better to get to see him work. Kurt had asked him before about his camera choices, because it seemed like digital would be so much easier and less work in the long run. Blaine had explained that he liked the work of it, the artistry in focusing the image himself and only having that one shot, one chance to get it how he wanted. There was the mystery of not knowing if it came out until he developed the film, which was another part of the process he said he loved.
SeeingBlaine at work was incredible, especially after having seen so much of his art previously in the magazine. Kurt relished the opportunity to see how it all came together, because it was just like he'd thought. They were in a park and it was like a constant clicking beside him, the shudder on Blaine's camera going and going, capturing moments before they passed but Kurt barely saw them in time. He saw the people, watching them as they came and went, as they stopped and looked at the sights, but very rarely anything that he would have recognized as something that he would expect from what he knew of Blaine's work.
It just kind of reaffirmed what Kurt had thought before, about how Blaine saw what other people overlooked. He was there with the purpose of trying to see exactly that and he kept missing it. The longer they were out, the better he got at focusing in on the people around them and the moments that Blaine tended to see. It was relaxing once he got better at it, to block out so much of what was happening around them and just try to pay attention to the little things. Even though he caught some of the moments Blaine was, more as the afternoon went on, Kurt couldn't wait to see them once they were developed because Blaine had such a way of framing and composing his shots that he was sure it would be like seeing it for the first time all over again.
"I want to show you something." Kurt had stopped to sit for a moment, letting Blaine wander off down the path to keep taking pictures, and he'd gotten caught up in checking his phone for the first time since he'd left the office. It wasn't that he'd missed any calls, but there were plenty of emails waiting for him. His attention was drawn away from his inbox when Blaine spoke, and he looked up to see him standing there in front of him with his camera cradled in his arms and a gentle smile on his face.
"Show me what?" he asked, sliding his phone into his pocket as he stood. Blaine's smile just brightened and he shook his head.
"You'll see."
It took another subway ride before they were back to the sidewalk, wandering through the buildings and streets of the Lower East Side. Considering that it was closer to the end of normal work day hours, it was more crowded as they went. Blaine reached for Kurt's hand to navigate them through a crowd at one point, and it still made Kurt's stomach swoop just as it had the first time and every time after – not that Blaine held his hand often, but it wasn't exactly an uncommon thing if he was walking with him or leading him somewhere.
The walk wasn't too long before Blaine ducked under an awning, gently tugging Kurt with him before letting go of his hand and fishing into his bag for something. Kurt tilted his head as he watched, an eyebrow raising when Blaine pulled out a set of keys. He'd barely had a chance to glance at the building behind them before Blaine was unlocking the door and motioning with his head that Kurt should follow.
It was dark thanks to the paper covering the windows, but Blaine hit a light switch near the door and the bare lighting on the ceiling illuminated the room. It was deep, empty other than some equipment that had clearly been used for remodeling, and looked just as plain as Kurt's workspace at the warehouse had been before he'd taken up filling it with whatever he could. His gaze swept around the room and he took a few steps inside, his footsteps on the hardwood floor the only sound beyond the muffled street noise coming in the windows and closed door.
"What do you think?" Blaine asked after a moment, dropping his keys into his bag and wandering to the middle of the room. He looked a little anxious, and Kurt tilted his head and let his eyes take in the room again in case he'd somehow missed something the first time around.
"What is it?"
"Our future gallery," Blaine replied, his arms outstretched to the room around him. "It's been a pipe dream for a while but now... it's real." He dropped his hands to his sides, smiling over at Kurt. "Isn't it great? I mean, I know it's just an empty room but it's notgoingto be."
"That's... incredible," Kurt said slowly, taking a few more steps into the space and letting his gaze wander as his mind worked. A gallery made sense, especially considering everything else they had in the first place. Synergy in general, though not Kurt by his own omission, had artwork displayed in several office buildings across the city, and then of course the magazine, but not anywhere that was dedicated just to their work.
Having their own gallery, a place where anyone could come specifically to see their work, actual physical pieces, not just what was printed in a magazine, truly did sound like a dream come true. Kurt remembered how it had been in college, how their artwork had been juried and chosen and displayed out in any of the various galleries on campus. It had always been such a feeling of pride to make something that made it through the process and was out where people went to see it. And then the solo exhibit he'd gotten to do when he was a senior, a space dedicated entirely to showcasing his work – that had been one of the best experiences he could have imagined.
"I know you haven't felt like putting any of your work out there," Blaine continued, his tone soft but voice echoing slightly in the emptiness of the room, and he reached over to rest his hand on Kurt's arm. "And that's still fine if you don't, but I would love for you to be part of this. There have been some ideas floated around for collaborations and I know you worry about finding the right niche but I think this would be a great opportunity to put yourself out there – only if you want, obviously, but if you were waiting for the right moment... I don't know if you could find a better one."
Blaine was right at least on the surface, Kurt knew. He'd been hesitating from letting his work be put out there because he didn't have a running theme like Blaine and Brittany, or Santana – the girl from his first day there who he rarely saw but he knew she did a photography series of the city itself rather than the people inhabiting it like Blaine did. There were others too – Quinn, Sam – though Kurt didn't see them as frequently or as often but he was familiar of their work and how, while it wasn't so much a series as the others, it was all tied together at least somewhat. While he knew what he was producing was good, he didn't know if it was goodenoughto be put with the rest.
There was also a hesitation of commitment because when it came to what was important in his life, like his art, Kurt didn't like to do anything half-assed. He felt like if he were to start doing anything that would be featured somehow, either in the magazine or the gallery, he would need to be able to focus on that full time instead of just whenever he was away from work. That was the tricky part, because Blaine had always seemed so blasé about him being able to leave his job whenever he wanted and being fine but Kurt had never quite believed that was possible. It sounded too good to be true, but then again so did the rest of it and it had all managed to be real so far.
"Do you have any plans for dinner?" Kurt asked, his gaze rising to meet Blaine's just in time to the brief flicker of confusion in them.
"No, I don't. Why?"
"Well it's," Kurt paused to pull out his phone and look at it, "it's about that time and I was going to say we could go back to my apartment to make something if you weren't busy." He paused under the pretense of sliding his phone away but it was also because of the slight nerves that came on at the invitation.It wasn't as though he meant anything by it more than it was, an offer of dinner, but he had questions that he needed answered to quell the concerns he had about everything in general. "It's okay if you say no; I know that was sudden and probably weird—"
"No, it wasn't, that sounds perfect," Blaine cut in, his fingers sliding down Kurt's arm lightly until they reached his hand and gave it a squeeze. "I was just going to grab something on my way home, otherwise. I'd much rather eat with you than do that."
It wasn't a long trip to get to Kurt's apartment from where they were, though he'd given the empty gallery space on last glance over before they left to fortify his mind on what he wanted to do. The subway was crowded but that was to be expected, and Kurt was glad once they were able to actually move out onto the platform at his stop and have room to breathe. It wasn't until they were up on street level that Blaine mentioned how he liked Kurt's version of the platform than the real life one, harkening back to the first day and the drawings he'd done.
"Feel free to make yourself at home," Kurt said as he unlocked the door to his apartment, letting them in and automatically setting his bag next to the armchair like it always was before ducking into the small kitchen nook. "You don't have any food allergies, do you? Or anything you hate? I was going to make pork chops and asparagus..."
"That sounds delicious," Blaine replied, leaning in the doorway of the kitchen. "And I'm not allergic to any of it. Would you like any help?"
"I appreciate the offer, but it's pretty easy and there's not much room for a second person in here." Kurt shrugged and glanced over at him. "Thank you, though."
It was what Kurt had been planning on having for dinner anyway, and thankfully he had enough for two. There was something to be said about always making extra to have for lunch the next day, otherwise he wouldn't have. It was quick to make, though he didn't exactly have any concerns about Blaine being off in his apartment on his own – he didn't have anything to hide or something embarrassing sitting out. By the time it was all cooked and done, it seemed like Blaine had just wandered around enough to acquaint himself with his surroundings and then settled in Kurt's armchair until dinner was done.
There was a small table at which they could eat, and a bottle of wine that was easily split between them as they did. Blaine insisted on helping clean up since he hadn't been allowed to help cook, and practically blocked Kurt out of the kitchen to keep him from being able to stop him from doing just that. "I'm sorry; did you not make me dinner? That means you go sit, relax, and let me deal with this."
Kurt could hardly argue, especially with Blaine pouring him another glass of wine and shooing him away from the kitchen. Having the time to sit and think more about what was potentially on the horizon before he actually approached any of the questions was probably good, though it was nice to have the slight distraction of Blaine humming to himself in the kitchen amongst the sound of dishes being washed.
"Can I ask you something?" Kurt asked when Blaine reemerged, his own glass of wine in hand.
"Anything."
"Say I were to quit my job to come do Synergy full time," Kurt began, swirling the wine around in his glass as he looked up at Blaine. "How would that... work?"
"Are you going to?" Blaine asked, his eyes widening as he leaned against the wall. "That would be incredible. You would just need to be okay with your works being displayed and published."
"I got that part I just wasn't sure how it worked in terms of... me losing my source of income." It truly was the most important question of it all, though Kurt did feel slightly bad bringing it up. After all, hadn't be basically been reaping the benefits of the group without actually giving anything substantial in return?
"Well obviously you'll be compensated for your work," Blaine replied, in that gentle tone of his that always managed to put Kurt at ease quicker than anything. "It's not a typical business model, I'm well aware, but I'm fairly certain that you would make more with us than you do at your current job."
Kurt watched as Blaine moved to sit across from him, perching on the edge of his seat as he went on, explaining about how everything had started back at the beginning, the meetings with his friend's father who had been the cause of it all and how it had been some trial and error before they came up with a way for everything to work. For someone who hadn't studied business, Blaine at least understood the fundamentals and had thought things out thoroughly with the way he'd presented ideas and managed to talk his way into funding for it all.
Producing artwork for a several corporate buildings in the city was one thing, but pitching the idea for a magazine had been something different entirely. The fact that it would produce a source of income was what had pushed it through, and had given Blaine more free reign on bringing more people into the collaboration in general. Before that it had been him and couple friends who had moved on since, but having a publication meant a need for variety and the more the merrier, as far as Blaine was concerned. There was a limit to their available funds, it wasn't like an endless supply of money for whatever they wanted, but it was high enough that Blaine said they had yet to hit it – and that included salary for anyone who contributed.
"You never told me that before because...?"
"You never seemed interested," Blaine offered, but he had a slight bashful grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I mean, it's not like we just throw money around or anything, we like for people to have shown us that they're good investments, so to speak, and I knew you would be if you ever wanted to be so it was just a matter of waiting for you to decide that you were. I always would have told you if you'd asked, just like I'm doing now." He paused, setting his glass down and glancing back over to Kurt, eyes sincere. "I don't think it does any good to push people into things, especially if it means they might do it for the wrong reason. It's the type of thing a person needs to do for themself, not just for the money."
Kurt's mind had been all but made up already before Blaine explained it all, and considering that most of his concerns had been financial there were practically none left by the time Blaine left not much later, needing to get back to Brooklyn. He took their empty glasses into the kitchen and couldn't help but smile at how spotless it was, dishes drying in the rack by the sink and everything wiped down to a shine. It wasn't until he went to walk out of the small room that he saw the little note scrawled on the white board hanging on the refrigerator –Thanks for dinner!
Settling back in his chair, he retrieved his phone from his bag and hit speed dial for his dad. It wasn't that he had much worry left about what he wanted to do, but there was always that want for his decisions and choices to be accepted by the people who meant the most to him. Thankfully, his dad had always been supportive of him with what he'd chosen to do in life, but there were still slight nerves fluttering in Kurt's stomach as he listened to the ringing on his phone until his call was picked up.
"Hey, Kurt."
"Hi, Dad. How are you?"
"I'm fine. Everything okay? You don't normally call this late. Not that I mind, you know, I just..."
"Worry, I know," Kurt replied, chewing on the inside of his lip. "I'm okay."
"You sure? Work going good, your apartment okay?"
"It's all fine I just wanted to... run something by you."
"Shoot."
"Okay," he began, drawing in a breath and exhaling it slowly. "I know you worried about me going to school for art and then being in New York, and I know you were glad when I got a steady job even though it wasn't what I planned on doing. There's an opportunity... it's getting to do what I've always wanted full time but it's not exactly conventional. I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't be – I don't know – more worried? Disappointed?"
"Kurt," his dad cut in, sounding caught somewhere between amused and serious. "When have Ieverbeen disappointed in anything you've done?"
"...never."
"You're an adult, Kurt. You don't have to run everything by me..."
"I know, I just," Kurt broke off with a sigh, rubbing a hand over his face before letting it drop to his lap and continuing. "I know I don't have to ask for permission to do things, I just like knowing I have your support."
There was a long pause before his dad spoke again. "Not exactly conventional... it's nothing illegal, is it?"
"Oh God, no."
"Is it going to make you happy, doing this?"
"I really think so." Going off of his trips out to Brooklyn as they were then, whenever he could manage, Kurt knew he was happier than he had been before, and even just the thought of getting to do that andonlythat was enough to make him feel like he was welling up with happiness. "So far it has."
"As long as you're happy and safe, then it sounds good to me. Now why don't you tell me more about this."
By the time Kurt hung up the phone some time later, he'd told his dad everything – sparing a detail or two about how he'd first got invited and went off without knowing what he was walking into. It had all worked out in the end so he didn't think those were important to bring up. He went to bed easily, falling asleep drafting a letter of resignation in his head.