flutterfield88
Jan. 8, 2012, 3:02 a.m.
To Be Worth You
Written in Blaine's POV, the night before Kurt leaves for New York
T - Words: 1,024 - Last Updated: Jan 08, 2012 729 0 2 0 Categories: Drama, Romance, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel,
The night has never felt this long. I’ve never felt more hollow inside. I’ve never dreaded daylight. As I lie tonight, I let the music from my Ipod fill the room.
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I was alone, trying to be happy where I was. Then he came along and before I could even recognize it, he was love, my love.
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The day he received the acceptance letter to NYADA, we went out to celebrate and with Rachel, Finn, Burt and Carole. He took me home and told me, we can make this work.
Since then I’ve been living it out daily, making him feel that he is my everything and that I am very much willing to not just make it work but to make us last through anything and everything.
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He’s leaving tomorrow. The summer went by in a flash. That day has arrived.
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I let the thoughts swim through my head. All our moments together: that fateful day I took his hand, the first time we kissed, the first time I held him in my arms. I will miss how his head fits perfectly on my shoulder and how our hands always seem to find each other, intertwining, without struggle.
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I sit up on my bed, sure that my ability to sleep is lost. I was looking through our photos on my phone, half smiling, when I hear a knock on my door.
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“Blaine?”
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I jolt out of my bed to his voice and open my bedroom door. There he stands, even though I’ve seen him everyday for the past few months, I can’t help but feel like I’m missing something. Like I want to memorize every single wrinkle, mole, freckle on his skin.
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Hi. is all I manage to say. He holds onto me tightly, his arms over mine, immobilizing me. The heavy breaths that escape his mouth warm my shoulder as I say, “What are you doing here? We talked about this, you’re supposed to be with your mom and dad tonight.”
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He releases me and takes my hand as he closes my door. “I was, but they knew, they knew I wanted to be here with you. I’ve been outside thinking of whether I should be, then your butler saw me from his window and let me in. I couldn't help but feel this is where I should be tonight.”
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I release his hands and take hold of his face, staring into his watery eyes that look like sparkling sea foam. I try to comprehend my feelings for this moment.
Kurt is here, I’m holding him so close to me. I will not get this chance after tomorrow, I will not get this for months. We will be apart for months.
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I lean my head onto his and feel the tears streaming down my face. He takes my hips close to his. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” he says.
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Still speechless, I take his mouth to mine and move my lips ferociously over his. He moves his hands to my hair, tugging and pulling me towards him. I lead us to my bed, carefully leaning him onto my pillow. I let go, out of breath.
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“I’m not sorry, I’m proud Kurt. So proud of you that tomorrow you start fullfilling your dreams. Don’t you ever, ever feel bad for it.” I manage to say.
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“I’ll miss you, I’ll miss this. Your voice won’t be enough.” he sobs.
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I move to his side placing my left arm under his neck. “Hold onto me. No matter how far we are from each other, you always have to know that I love you very much. That the next year I will work my hardest to get to where you are. You’ll be back soon enough and when you do, you’ll find me here, waiting. You will have all of me.”
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“And I’ll be counting all the days til I get to go home.” he whispers.
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I take his hand to my heart and say, “No, you’ll be out there learning everything and you’re gonna be amazing! Time will just fly by, and you won’t even notice it. We’ll be here, like this, in no time.”
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I feel his warm kiss on my neck. “I love you.” he whispers.
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I close my eyes and take his scent in. The music fills the air again as Kurt and tangle our feet around each other.
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He falls asleep for a few moments. I make sure to keep a mental picture of us at this moment: His head on my arm, his peaceful face, his eyelashes, the curve of his lips and the tip of his nose; His hand on my chest and the weight of his fingertips on my shirt. His warmth and his scent.
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I never thought I’d be so lucky, to have you, to hold you. I never expected love, I’ve only had bits of it, a little taste of what it was like, and I wasn’t even sure that was what it was. But here you are, the one true person whom I could say, without missing a beat, showed me love, taught me to love and� made me realize that I was worth it. You made me want to be worth you, Kurt. And for the rest of my life that’s all I want to be.
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A/N: This is my first one shot fic. This was inspired by Snow Patrol’s “New York”, have a listen. All I could think about was: Oh dear god, Kurt is leaving. :) Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Tell me what you guys think! :D
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Oh my gosh! This is beautiful! The writing just about brings tears to my eyes! I'm actually in Hawaii at a business conference, looking out at a marine, about to cry reading this beautiful story. Thanks so much for sharing!
I tried so send you a message but I don't think it got sent. Anyway, thank you so much for this review.it means a lot to me that you feel this way about something i wrote. I bet that marine view is stunning! Thanks again! :D