
Nov. 11, 2011, 3:04 p.m.
Nov. 11, 2011, 3:04 p.m.
Blaine encourages Brittany's low math grade even if her teacher thinks its inappropriate.
i liked this; it was really sweet. i agree that brittany is a smart girl–just not academically. i liked the observation that blaine "listened and cared when she talked." this reminded me of when finn told figgins that mr schue is the only teacher who asks how you are and actually wants to hear the answer. one constructive criticism for you. watch out for run-on sentences. "You teach math, I'm sure if you spend more time learning about your student other activates you will realized that math is just a blimp in their radar and failing a math quiz that I'm sure no one will ever look at after this semester you would give praise to Brittany." this run-on was really confusing because i couldn't figure out what you were trying to say. maybe if this had been three shorter sentences, comprehension would have been easier. also: "realized" should be realize -and- "blimp" should be blip -and- "student other activates" should probably be student's other activities.
Thank you so much. That is a really long sentence. and I will edit those other mistakes. Again thanks so much for reviewing it means alot to me :)
ah ha! now i get what you were trying to say! the smaller sentences made your meaning much clearer to me. i've got a few more suggestions to make. i am going to edit myself a bit. "You teach math, I'm sure if you spend more time learning about your student's other activities, you will realize that math is just a bimp in their radar. Failing a math quiz which I'm sure no one will ever look at after this semester means nothing." first, take out the phrase 'you teach math,'. it really serves no purpose. second, (this is where i'm editing myself), rewrite "student's other activities" to say 'students' extracurricular activities'. i forgot about plural possessives and forgot where the apostrophe goes. but it's correct now. third, "bimp" should be 'blip'. fourth, you needed a few commas in the following sentence. "Failing a math quiz, which I'm sure no one will ever look at after this semester, means nothing." other than that, i glad you wrote a small story exploring blaine, santana, and brittany's friendship. i would love to read more of it :)
thank you very much! I will get right on those edits. (: and im glad u liked it, I am writing a longer story about a Klaine/brittana weekend, that wont be finished till Dec. Again, thank you for the review!
Haha! I definitely like the little message behind it! A minor grammar error but overall I liked it!
Thanks for the read hon. I'm glad u liked it. I am looking for a beta as I type lol but no luck just yet. I'll just have to pay more attention.
Pierson (Pierce/Anderson) was my favorite friendship to write, but I've fallen for Quaine recently. Thanks for the review it means a lot to me (:
i like it, and it is true what you had Blaine say about Britt she is a lot smarter then people think...
nicely done!
thank you! this was before I even knew what I was doing! if you really like it I'd recommend reading some of the newer stories,I really don't write shorts or one shots these days but if you have the time, it would be awesome!