The whole drive to Blaine’s house was silent save for Sam giving Puck directions every now and then. Sam had calmed down considerably since they left the school. Puck didn’t even want to imagine what was going through his head. He’s seen some pretty fucked up shit in his life but he could never imagine walking in on someone in that situation. Not knowing what they’re thinking is what he thinks would scare him the most. So instead of thinking about what has already happened, he decided to focus all his attention on what is happening now.

Their sweet, innocent, goofy Blaine is hurting. Puck couldn’t think of any other way to see it. Their friend has been hurt and Puck would be damned if he was going to let his idiot best friend get away with doing this to him. He knew there was something Kurt wasn’t telling him, there had to be but that didn’t mean that he was going to let him off the hook for hurting Blaine, at least till he came clean. Kurt had to mend what he broke. Not that he would need much convincing, Puck thought. He was certain that as soon as Kurt knew how bad things were that he’d start helping in an instant.

Sam spoke up with a “turn left here” and before they knew it they were pulling up out the front of the Anderson house.

They both sat in the car for a couple of minutes in an uncomfortable silence. Neither really wanted to go inside, scared of how they’ll find Blaine, but they both new they needed to try and talk to him.

“Okay so here’s the plan-“

“This isn’t a fucking mission Puck, this is serious. We need to help Blaine, pick up the pieces that Kurt left behind. God I really wanna punch that guy right now.”

“And that is why we need a plan, Sam. Otherwise you’re gonna get angry and do something you’ll regret like you would have today if Schue hadn’t walked in. So, we are gonna go inside, find Blaine and find out what happened between him and Kurt and if he refuses to talk then we’re going to his parents, okay?”

Sam eyed Puck for a moment, wanting to see how serious he was taking this but all he could see was how much he seemed to care for Blaine, when that happened he had no idea. He knew that now wasn’t the time to question that though so instead he nodded and stepped out of the car.

Puck followed behind Sam and together they walked up to the front door. Sam knocked three times and after waiting for a moment the door was answered by a short woman with long black curly hair. She was so obviously Blaine’s mother, and she was so obviously really stressed out. Her hair was all over the place and her face looked tired. She looked between the two of them for a moment before her eyes landed on Sam again and suddenly her face lightened up.

 “Sam honey, it’s so good to see you again.” She pulled him into a tight embrace while Puck stood to the side feeling like he was intruding on a private moment between the two. They stayed hugging for a moment too long for it to be deemed a simple friendly hug. It seemed that they must have gotten close after what happened with Blaine.

After they let go, Sam introduced Puck to Blaine’s Mum, Susan he reminded himself, who shook hands before they were ushered inside.

“It’s really nice to see you again Susan but I was really here looking for Blaine…”

Puck watched Sam as he spoke but saw how he started to trail off after noticing something. Puck followed his line of sight and standing in the doorway to what looked like the living room was a man. Blaine’s Dad he guessed.

The air was suddenly awkward and Puck was getting more confused by the minute.

Mr Anderson looked over at Sam and nodded with a simple “Hello Sam.” It didn’t seem like there was anger there but the tension  in the room was definitely rising.

“Mr Anderson.” Sam replied with a nod of his own.

“You can call me Anthony.”

“With all due respect Sir, I think I’d rather stick with Mr Anderson.”

After a beat of silence he ended the short conversation saying “as you wish” and then he was walking back into the room he was previously in and shutting the door.

The boys turned back to Mrs Anderson who smiled sadly at Sam.

“I’m so sorry about him Sam, things haven’t been great and he just-“

“It’s fine Susan, no need to apologise. You didn’t do anything.”

“And Noah, I’m sorry you had to meet him that way.”

“It’s fine Mrs Anderson.”

“Please, call me Susan.” She said with a smile.

“Only if you call me Puck.”

She nodded at him a little confusedly but didn’t comment on the name before talking to them both.

“I’m sorry boys but Blaine isn’t here. I actually thought he was supposed to be at school now for your glee club? Aren’t you supposed to be there too Sam, I was sure he told me you were are part of the club too?” She asked wearily.

“Oh… uh yeah, we finished earlier today. So he’s not here?”

Sam and Puck looked at each other with worried expressions before turning back to Susan.

“What’s going on boys?”

Sam sighed and the three of them sat down while he went into an explanation of everything starting from how Blaine and Kurt had become so close, to the events of Saturday night, assuring her that Blaine was driven home and didn’t drive himself after drinking, up to everything that he had seen and heard that very day.

Puck sat in silence as Sam retold the story watching Susan’s reaction. Surprisingly she didn’t look shocked about anything but more worried than anything else. Hopefully it was just one of Blaine’s bad days and Sam had been overreacting but judging by the tears that started to pool in Susan’s eyes, he doubted that was the case.

After Sam had finished retelling everything to Susan, Puck excused himself and went to the bathroom. It seemed like they needed a moment without him there and he had something else he needed to do anyway.

Kurt was standing under the hood of a broken down minivan that had been brought in the week before. Burt had been sick most of the weekend from not having a drink in a few days so Kurt was left with having to pick up a few hours where he could to help out. This wasn’t unusual considering that the last couple of years Burt had been drunk most of the time anyway meaning Kurt would be picking up work where his Dad would be slacking off. He did enjoy it though, being able to worry about something else for a while. Getting his hands dirty has always been therapeutic for him, ever since his Dad taught him how to change a tire. It helps him to forget everything else going on in his life.

He was so lost though that it took a few rings for him to finally realise his phone was ringing. He wiped his hands on the rag hanging out of his back pocket and went over to his phone. Seeing it was Puck he contemplated not answering but knew he’d most likely come looking for him if he didn’t answer, so he did.

“What do you want Puck, I’m busy.”

“Kurt, you fucked up big time.”

“As much as I love to hear that once again I’d be nice to know why you’re whispering to the point of me barely being able to hear you.”

“I’m in the bathroom.”

“Well this just got weird. You do know you have a bedroom right?”

“I’m in Blaine’s bathroom you idiot.”

Kurt was walking into his Dad’s office but ended up hitting his hip on the side of the table when he heard what Puck said.

“You’re in Blaine’s bathroom?” Kurt asked slowly while sitting down in his Dad’s office chair.

“Yeah.” Puck answered like it was the most normal thing ever.

“Why the hell are you in Blaine’s bathroom?”

“Oh yeah, because you fucked up, that’s why.”

“I need more information than that.”

“Okay, so you know how Sam like totally freaked out on you before? Well turns out Blaine had something really bad happened to him like ages ago and it made him really closed off and not talk to people and play sad music and then something else happened but I don’t know if I can tell you because Sam will possibly kill me if I do. I don’t even know if he was supposed to tell me. Anyway we came here to find him but he’s not here and we tried calling him but we won’t answer and he isn’t at his friend Jed’s place-“

“Do you mean Jeff?”

“Yeah Jeff, whatever. So he’s out looking for him but no one can find him.”

“Well what do you expect me to do about this? I’m pretty sure I’m the last person he’d wanna talk to right now.”

“Well you screwed this all up, so you put it back together. I gotta go, they’re gonna think I’m weird for being here for so long. Fix this.”

Before Kurt could answer, Puck had already hung up. He slammed his phone down on his Dad’s desk, angry with himself about what he’d done. He finally admitted something that had been on his mind all afternoon, something he never thought he’d say. Rachel Berry was right. By trying to protect Blaine he ended up hurting him in the process and although he barely understood anything Puck was trying to say he did understand one thing. This time he really did fuck up.

He never thought that Blaine would react this badly to them fighting. He didn’t understand why he would. He had no reason to. Instead of thinking in never ending circles about something he knew he’d never figure out he decided he needed to go find Blaine. 

He closed up the shop and walked out to his bike. It wasn’t till he got on that he had no idea where to look. He obviously wasn’t at any of his friend’s houses and he’d already guessed that he wouldn’t be at his own after whatever had made him so upset last week. Not knowing where to go he decided to just simply take off and ride through the streets of Lima hoping that maybe Blaine was just driving aimlessly around like he was the night he found Kurt in Lima Heights Adjacent.

After riding for a good hour without any trace of Blaine he pulled over and called Puck back to see if anyone else had found anything. Like he’d guessed, no-one else had seen or heard from him. It wasn’t unusual for Blaine to be out this late although most of the time he’d be out this late with Kurt and the guys and he wouldn’t be… well he didn’t really know what was going on with him right now. Puck was terrible at explaining to him what had happened so all he really knew was that he had to find him, and somehow try and fix things.

He took off and continued to drive around some more. He had no idea how he was going to fix things between them. He knew he wanted to be friends with Blaine, hell he wanted to be way more than just friends but he wouldn’t be admitting that anytime soon, but he knew that being so close to Blaine would put him in danger of being seriously hurt by Hugo until Kurt was out of the work anyway. Till then maybe he could convince Blaine that they could be secret friends or something, so that if anything happened between him and Hugo Blaine wouldn’t be involved? Okay, well that sounds stupid even thinking about it. He can’t keep anything from that man and he knows it.

After riding around without really noticing where he was going, he ended up in the same place he always ends up when riding around without thinking. His and his Mum’s clearing in the forest. And right there in front of him is the familiar black Prius.

Of Course. He was an idiot to not even think that Blaine might come here. He told Blaine just less than a week ago that he can come here when he wants to get away from the rest of the world. He thought it was a bit weird for him to come here when he was so obviously pissed off at Kurt but he guessed being in a new town  and all, he wouldn’t really know many places to go to get away anyway.

He started walking up the path but had no idea what to expect when he actually found the gelled haired boy. Apparently he wasn’t talking to anyone so why would he talk to Kurt? Maybe he should just stop here, call Puck and let them all know that he’s okay. But there was something stopping him from picking up his phone and doing what he knows he should. Something at the back of his mind that was pushing his legs and keep stepping forward. Before he knew it he was standing in between two trees looking over at the distraught boy lying down in the grass.

He’d always noticed Blaine’s obvious good looks but never before had he really taken the time to just look at him. He was lying there with his eyes closed and Kurt couldn’t really be sure if he was asleep or not. His hair was always so full of gel it was hard to tell what it would look like naturally. He had such long eyelashes that any girl would be jealous of them. They sit so perfectly against the top of his cheeks and it was almost painful not being able to see the colour of his eyes at the moment. He looks down to his pink lips and absentmindedly traces his own lips remembering what they felt like pressed up against each other. He remembers the perfect fit and longs to have that back. He couldn’t believe how far he’d tried to push Blaine that night. He was such an idiot to think that he’d want some fast meaningless quickie in the back of his car. Blaine deserves so much better than him. He deserves a guy that will love and cherish him, not someone that reduces him to tears after one kiss and who pushes him away because it’s easier for them both. He deserves everything, something that Kurt can’t give him.

He walked over to Blaine and lay down beside him, just like they did the first time they were here together. Kurt didn’t say anything to him at first. He didn’t know what to say really. What are you supposed to say to someone who has stopped talking to people because of you? Blaine had opened his eyes just for a moment to see who was sitting next to him but promptly closed them and didn’t look back at Kurt. Well he didn’t get up and leave so that’s a start, right?

 “Maybe it’s a good thing you’ve stopped talking to me, seems like I’ve been rubbing off on you a bit, I mean you skipped school today and that’s not really like you.”

Okay, so maybe not the best start…

“Apparently some kid came to school drunk today and threw up all over Miss Pillsbury. Fuckin’ hilarious.”

He looked over at Blaine to look for some sort of reaction. He hadn’t even batted an eyelash. You’d think he didn’t even know that Kurt was there the way he was acting.

“So you gonna stay here the night? I mean it’s safe and all but way too cold at this time of year. You’ll freeze to death.”

Again, nothing.

“I quit glee club today, stormed out actually. I felt like Rachel fucking Berry when I did that. God I can’t stand her, she’s so frustrating. They all are. They think they’re all saints or something, that they know better than everyone else. Sometimes I just want strangle them all and-“

“Why did you bring me here?”

Blaine’s voice was so quiet when he spoke that Kurt wasn’t sure whether he really heard him or not. He turned his head to look at him but Blaine was still facing the sky with his eyes closed. He turned his head so he was looking up at the stars in the sky. He still has no idea what possessed him to bring Blaine here last week. He felt some need to show him a safe place and whether that safe place was here in this clearing in the forest or whether he was hoping that he was the safe place he had no idea.

“I uh… I don’t really know why. I just felt like I needed to. I can’t really explain it I guess.”

He knew Blaine was looking for more of an answer but he couldn’t give what he didn’t have.

“Does anyone else know about this place?”

“…no.”

Silence fell upon them and Kurt wanted to hit himself from admitting that to him. This wasn’t what he wanted. He needed Blaine away from him, no matter how much it hurt either of them it’s what’s best, but he couldn’t help this pull he felt toward the other boy. As soon as one of them pushes away there is an instant pull reeling them back in whether they like it or not and he was feeling that now more than ever.

“I just… don’t understand, Kurt.” The way he spoke almost killed Kurt. There was no emotion left. There wasn’t even anger or sadness. He sounded empty, like the words he were saying held no meaning but Kurt knew they did. Everything Blaine said or did meant something. It made Kurt hate himself just that little bit more, knowing he was the reason for making him like this, for pushing him over the edge. “You yelled at me saying you don’t care but you brought me here to a place that no one else knows about. You told me things about you, about your Mum. And I’m confused because you wouldn’t be that open with someone who you were just trying to sleep with. Which means I must’ve done something, in those few days between to make you hate me so much.”

Kurt’s head quickly snapped around to look at Blaine. He couldn’t possibly think that could he? He had to have known that Kurt didn’t hate him. Doesn’t hate him. Had he seriously been that horrible to this boy? He really, really had fucked it all up this time.

“I could never, ever hate you Blaine.” He spoke with so much force in his voice that it surprised even himself. Blaine had to know. Even if they were never friends again Blaine had to know that Kurt could never hate him.

“I know I was a complete dick and said things that you didn’t deserve to hear but I need you to know that no matter what. I could not hate you.”

Blaine finally opened his eyes but he didn’t look over at Kurt. It hurt, seeing him close himself off from everyone around him.

Neither of them said anything for a long time. Kurt felt his phone ring in his pocket countless times but he knew answering it would do no good. He’d lie anyway and say he hadn’t found Blaine because that’s what Blaine wanted right now and he couldn’t bring himself to deny anything the boy next to him wanted at the moment.

“Do you believe me, Blaine?”

The question hung in the air for too long a time in Kurt’s opinion. He didn’t move an inch, not being able to in anticipation of Blaine’s answer.

“I don’t know what I believe anymore Kurt. But I think I deserve to know why you said all that.”

This was the moment Kurt was supposed to make up some amazing lie as to why they couldn’t be friends without hurting Blaine in the process. He’d come up with so many in his head on his way here but of course now was the moment he couldn’t remember any of that. Now was the moment he decided to be selfish and put his friend’s safety on the line. He could tell himself that he didn’t want his friend hurting anymore and as true as that is, that isn’t why he says what he does.

“Blaine, I’m… I guess you could say I’m in trouble? That doesn’t really sound right but I got… mixed up in, something, and now I can’t get out of this mess I’ve made and I’m fucking scared because my boss is really, really powerful and to hurt me, he would hurt the closest people around me, and now that includes you. I guess I was trying to keep you safe but I didn’t know how much I hurt you in the process. God I have fucked everything up Blaine.”

For the first time since Kurt got there, Blaine turned his head and looked at him and that’s when he saw how broken Blaine really looked. His eyes looked glazed over and foggy, like he was looking but wasn’t really seeing anything. It scared Kurt seeing him like this and it scared Kurt when he realised how much he trusted Blaine. He trusted him enough to tell him the truth, even if it wasn’t the whole truth, but it was still a big deal for him.

“Does this have something to do with the guy you were fighting with that also turned up at Puck’s party?”

“Yes.”

“And no one knows about any of this?”

“Not really. Puck did but he thinks it’s over.”

“How am I supposed to trust you now?”

“I don’t know. But I really want you too. I kind of need you too.”

Blaine just nodded and then turned his head back to face the sky. Kurt didn’t know what was in store for them but he knew now that hoping wasn’t out of the question anymore. Maybe they could still be friends but Kurt wasn’t going to expect it. He wasn’t going to expect anything from Blaine anymore.

He felt Blaine slowly slide in hand into his own, fingers weaved in fingers, and for a moment he squeezed but then pulled his hand back to himself. It was brief but it meant so much. It meant that maybe, just maybe. Things could be okay.