After the fight about Rachel, things were weird between Blaine and I. We hung out a little less; not enough to address but enough to notice. Blaine seemed distant. Instead of trying to stop my constant defending of Rachel, he would simply sink into his chair and let it slide. When we go to the park together, we sit in silence and read our own books, leaving a chilling space between us.

I hated it. Even though I was still loyal to Rachel, I hadn’t realized how much I had grown to rely on Blaine. It felt like there was always something missing.

And it hurt.

One day, about a week or so later, I was headed out of the school, shaking the last of a purple grape slushie from my hair. I had so much homework to do that weekend and only a small time to get it done; Rachel and I had major Nationals practice to get done and a dinner at Breadstix.

As I headed to my car, I scanned the parking lot for that head of curly dark hair, hoping I might catch a glimpse of him before he disappeared for a whole weekend. I saw several members of the glee club milling about the area, but not the one I so desperately wished to see.

But then! Out of the corner of my eye, leaning against the flagpole; dark curly hair!

And when I took a closer look, I was both mistaken and confused.

“Mattie?” I said, walking up to the boy. Mattie Anderson was staring right at me, his light brown eyes digging into mine. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to talk to you, Kurt Hummel,” he said in the most serious tone a nine year old could muster.

My eyes widened a little bit. “Alright, shoot.”

“Where have you been these past few days?”

“Excuse me?”

“Why haven’t you been over to our house in a while?” His small face was suddenly serious.

“Wait a minute, I thought you didn’t like me, Mattie?” I smirked, crossing my arms, “You’re always picking on me.”

“Picking on you?” he asked.

“Yes, you are always making situations awkward, cracking jokes about Blaine and I, pushing me into him.”

Mattie blushed at that. “I don’t hate you, Kurt. As a brother, it’s my job to make sure that you’re all right for Blaine to be seeing. Blaine means the world to me, Kurt. He’s my big brother. I’ll do anything to ensure that he is happy.”

I felt like my heart would explode. Mattie had really thought about this conversation, that much was proven by his attempt at using big words. It was amazing to me how one person could care about someone else so much that they would confront another for that them. Finn would never do anything like that for me.

But Mattie was here, protecting his older brother in the best way a little brother knew how.

“And since you’ve been around,” the curly haired boy continued, “Blaine has been happier than I have ever seen. Ever. The problem is, Blaine hasn’t been very happy these past few days.” Mattie’s brow knit, as if remembering something troubling, “He’s been hanging at home more often, spending time out in the back yard under the tree, not even reading, just staring up at the branches. Why is that?”

I felt about two inches tall. Here was this kind little boy worried about his brother and I was the cause of it all. I was the reason the person he loved most was upset.

“Maybe you should come over, Kurt?” Mattie suggested, snapping me out of my self-loathing.

“What?”

“Maybe if you came over, Blaine would be happy again?”

So this is what it felt like to be an asshole.

“Mmm, that’s probably not a good idea right now, Mattie. Honestly, I’m probably the reason he is so upset.”

Mattie’s hopeful expression darkened. “Why?”

“I have obligations to someone else,” I sighed.

“Who?” he pried. “Do you have a secret boyfriend? Because that is not okay.”

I silently cheered at the fact that Mattie was so accepting of both my and his brother’s sexuality.

“What? No. Mattie! It’s not like that. I have to be there for my best friend Rachel.”

“Rachel?”

“Yeah, I’ve been her best friend for years now.”

“Kurt,” Mattie started, his tone serious again. “Did you ever think that you might be Blaine’s best friend? Did you ever think that you might have to be there for him too?”

I was stunned. Where was this coming from? “But it’s just Rachel-”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said with a shake of his head. “You might not like her in the same way that you like Blaine, but she’s taking you away from him and it hurts him. Even I can see that, Kurt. Why can’t you?”

I blinked down at the fierce little boy. Though I didn’t want to admit it, he was right. Blaine might have been jealous of Rachel just like Rachel was jealous of Blaine. How did it come to this? And how did I not notice it when a nine-year-old boy could?

“How did you get to be so smart?” I smiled down at him.

“I’ve got a great teacher, even if he is an alien from planet Anderzon.”

I laughed with him then. “Thanks for helping me, Mattie.”

“No problem. I like you, Kurt. I think you’re a great person and you’re good for my crazy brother, even if you don’t think you are. Hey, I know! Why don’t you come to my birthday party this weekend?”

“Oh, Mattie, you know I would love to. But you see, I have-”

“Obligations?” Mattie sighed.

“Yes, obligations.”

“Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you around,” he said, turning to leave.

“Happy birthday, Mattie!” I called after him. He waved a hand above his head in response.

I couldn’t help be feel bad about turning him down, but I really did have a lot to do before going to Rachel’s that weekend.

That Saturday found me sitting across from Rachel at Breadstix. I hadn’t been able to finish my Calculus homework like I’d wanted because Rachel had decided that a three-way call with her and Tina was more important. Clearly, I had to get my priorities straight. I speared my salad with one hand while the other held my chin up on the table. I didn’t usually have such poor table manners, but honestly, I was in no mood to be hanging out with Rachel, as was becoming the case more and more often. My mind was elsewhere; encircled in strong, tanned arms, underneath a willow tree, begging for forgiveness and a kiss.

Even if Rachel had given me the chance to do my homework, I’m not sure I would have been able to get it done. Since my talk with Mattie, all I could think about was Blaine and how I had let him down.

How could I do that? I was an awful person. This was why I was a wingman; I didn’t deserve to be a Leading Man.

“You know, I read somewhere that they don’t even bake these here,” Rachel said, inspecting the long breadstick in her hand.

“So?” I asked, taking another mouthful of lettuce.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I guess it just takes the magic out of this place. I mean, it’s called Breadstix! You’d think they would at least make their own breadsticks!”

I smiled faintly at her. “Typical Rachel. Never satisfied with what’s in front of her.” My smile dropped instantly.  Maybe I should listen to my own words? “Just be happy that they cater to your vegan needs.”

“That’s true. It’s hard to find vegan friendly restaurants nowadays.” She put down the breadstick. “You know, Kurt, I’ve got so say, it’s nice for it to finally just be the two of us. No intruders. No distractions.”

Gee, Rachel, what could you possibly mean by that?

“Yeah, it is nice,” I sighed.

Suddenly, Rachel’s phone rang in her purse. She pulled it out without a second though. “Oooh! Finn! Hang on, Kurt, I’ll be right back,” she said, answering it. “Hey, Finn! I miss you.”

Rachel headed for the front door leaving me to sit alone. This would be a long call.

“So much for no distractions,” I mumbled.

I poked at my salad again, suddenly losing my appetite. How was this fair? I had to be at Rachel’s beck and call at every minute, but it was perfectly all right for me to be alone whenever she didn’t need me. Why couldn’t I have someone else to be with when she wasn’t around? It was normal to have more than one friend to depend on. Friendship was a two way street, a give and take.

Spending all this time with Blaine had taught me that.

Blaine. Everything went back to Blaine these days. Whether it was a good thing or not, he had shaken my wingman tendencies and made me think more about myself and less about my Leading Lady.

I sighed, dropping my fork and leaning on my hands. Who was I kidding? Miracles didn’t happen to people like me, they were reserved for people like Rachel and Quinn and Blaine. I was a wingman and I would always be a wingman.

“I wonder if they actually bake these here?” said a familiar voice from a few tables over.

I twisted in my seat to see Mattie Anderson inspecting a breadstick inches from his face. Across the table from him was a curly mop of dark hair, his back towards me. I knew in an instant that it was Blaine, simply by his response.

“Of course not,” he scoffed at his little brother. “They have elves to do that.”

“Elves? Blaine, you’re weird. That’s a lie.”

“No he’s right,” I said, approaching the table. “Haven’t you heard of the Keebler elves that live in trees and bake cookies? Same thing.”

“Kurt!” Mattie squeaked, jumping out of his booth and giving me a hug, almost knocking me over. Well that was new.

“Hey, Mattie.” I smiled down at him.

“What are you doing here?” the boy asked, taking his seat once again.

“Oh, I was just, uh, having dinner,” I said, trying to avoid mentioning Rachel around Blaine.

“You should sit with us! Shouldn’t he, Blaine?”

“Please, join us,” Blaine said with a blank expression, gesturing to the table. I couldn’t tell if he was mad at me or not, but I took the invitation, sitting next to the youngest Anderson.

“So what brings you here?” I asked.

“It’s the little monster’s birthday.” Blaine smiled at his brother.

Mattie bared his teeth and made his hand looks like claws at Blaine before sticking out his tongue at him.

“And where is Mama Monster?”

“Probably on tour somewhere,” Mattie laughed.

“Alright, smarty pants, I meant the parents of these monsters,” I said, gesturing to the Anderson boys. “Not the one who hibernates in eggs and dresses in meat-suits.”

“Our parents are away on business,” Blaine answered for him, smiling at me for the first time in days.

“Well happy birthday, Monster Mattie,” I said, eyeing Blaine through my peripheral vision. “How does it feel to be finally in the double digits?”

“Awesome! Blaine said that I could stay up until ten o’ clock tonight.”

“Makes sense,” I grinned at him. “You are practically an adult now.”

“Hey!” Blaine warned playfully. “No filling his head with ideas.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Blaine,” I said innocently. Blaine kicked my leg softly from beneath the table. I returned the favor with a nudge of my own. Blaine trapped my foot between his, catching my full attention. He looked at me from across the table with hooded eyes and I couldn’t help but blush. I knew then that we were going to be okay.

As if on cue, the several servers came out of the kitchen, clapping in unison. The boy in front held a small birthday cake with what looked like ten candles on top. Mattie’s face lit up like the sun, his grin practically splitting his face in half.

The servers surrounded our table, placing the cake in front of Mattie who was just about vibrating with excitement.

Happy, happy birthday,

From all of us to you!

We wish it was our birthday,

So we could party too!

Hey!

We clapped as they finished their song and Mattie blew out his candles, making a wish.

“You guys could party with us if you wanted!” Mattie offered, earning a laugh from the servers.

The boy who carried the cake eyed Blaine with a hungry eye. “I’ll party with you if you like. What do you think?”

Oh please.

Blaine simply reached across the table, taking my hand, making sure that everyone could see.

“What do I think?” Blaine asked, squeezing my hand. He looked up at the waiter with narrowed eyes. “I’m not sure you would be welcome to our party, right Kurt?”

I nodded quickly, still shell shocked from the sudden turn of events. The boy huffed, turning on his heel and heading back to the kitchen.

We ate our cake in contented silence as Mattie talked about the presents he had received. As I finished my piece, I peered over Blaine’s shoulder to see if Rachel had actually returned from her phone call. She hadn’t. Finn must have convinced her to ditch me for some reason, something I really didn’t want to think about.

I paid my bill at the other table as the three of us left Breadstix together.

“Kurt, won’t you come back home with us?” Mattie asked as I walked them to their car.

I froze a little bit. “Oh, Mattie, I don’t want to over stay my welcome.”

“But you haven’t given me my birthday present yet!” he pouted. “You could sing to me!”

“You should come with us. Would your dad mind?” Blaine said with a genuine smile.

I blushed; damn that smile and its magical ability to make my stomach flip.

“I-I could shoot him a text?”

“Yeah, yeah! Do that!” Mattie agreed, jumping up and down.

“You can follow me back to our house, alright?” Blaine added, pushing his brother toward the car.

“Okay,” I laughed, pulling out my phone and heading to my own.

When we made it to the Anderson residence, the sun was slowly setting over the horizon. Mattie raced ahead of Blaine and me, eager to get inside for his birthday present. I had spent the entire drive over trying to think of a song to sing for him. I didn’t have very many child-appropriate songs in my repertoire.

Blaine unlocked the front door, Mattie pushing past him into the foyer. I had been here a few times since that first dinner with the Andersons, but I never did get over the initial shock of walking into their home. The main entrance was still was as beautiful and ornate as the first time, though after learning the family within and becoming accustomed to their lives, the house had changed from almost cool and imposing to welcoming and warm.

I followed Blaine into the rarely used living room. I felt as though just about every house had one of those rooms; a place that was only used for special occasions and Christmas parties. This one was no different. Everything was decked out in white: the sofas, the carpet, the walls, with the occasional accent of black, like the coffee table and more importantly, the grand piano in the corner of the room.

Mattie emerged from the doorway, a juice box in hand.

“Mattie, you know you’re not supposed to have drinks in here,” Blaine scolded.

“But it’s my birthday!” he whined. “And it’s just a juice box, I can’t even spill it!”

“Mattie I-”

“So what kind of song did you want me to play, Mattie?” I asked, giving him a wink.

Mattie smiled at me gratefully and took a sip of his drink pensively. He looked back and forth between Blaine and I. “I want a pretty song,” he said finally.

“Well, okay. What kind? That’s a vague statement. There are lots of different types of pretty songs.”

“I want a love song,” he said pointedly.

I blanched a little bit but nodded at his request. I had one song that was harmless enough to play for them. I turned to the piano and took a deep breath. I played the short introduction softly, closing my eyes and getting lost in the music. It was one of my favorite songs, one that I had been playing more and more often this year, one that I couldn’t seem to get out of my head.

You’re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together

I opened my eyes and turned to gage the reactions I might be getting from a song like this. Mattie was leaning on the back on the sofa, his head resting in his hands. He sighed deeply with a big smile, his eyes dreamy.

And then I saw Blaine.

His eyes were like two giant honeycombs underneath a slightly knit brow. His lips were slightly parted in what looked like awe.

It was then I realized why I had been singing this song so often; it was because this boy, this Blaine had given me reason to sing.

And when I’m with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

It scared me a bit how much the song meant to me in that moment. It was like the lyrics were saying everything I couldn’t. How much I wanted to be with Blaine. How I knew I couldn’t be.

Blaine didn’t take his gaze off me, but I could see the emotion there, swelling behind his eyes.

Mattie looked between us with a satisfied, calculated smile.

I rolled my eyes at his smirk and continued his song, though as the song played out, it seemed to become less for Mattie and more for his brother.

We’re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

I finished the last few notes, looking into Blaine’s eyes. His smile was breathtaking, one that made my heart hurt with want.

“Finally,” Mattie said, drawing me out of my daydreams.

“Huh?” I asked, dazed.

“I get to see my brother smile like that again. That’s the best gift of all.”

My eyes widened before I looked down blushing to my roots. Blaine laughed softly.

“Come on, Mattie, why don’t we watch that new movie you got for your birthday?” Blaine suggested.

“Only if Kurt can sit in the middle,” his brother smirked.

For the next two hours, the three of us sat on the Anderson’s big leather couches and watch Mattie’s movie. I didn’t mind it, for a kid’s movie it was pretty well done. Every now and then, Mattie would nudge me just hard enough to make me knock into Blaine’s side. Each time, Blaine and I would stare at each other like we were some kind of new species, not sure what to do with each other. Eventually, Blaine wrapped his arm around the back of the couch and Mattie decided to lie down, leaving me with only one option, to snuggle into Blaine’s side. Not that I minded. In all honestly, Blaine smelled fantastic, like sandalwood and coffee. It felt right to be there with him, it felt safe.

As the movie ended and Mattie’s yawns grew more frequent, Blaine announced it was time for bed.

“But, Blaine, you said I could stay up until ten!”

“You’re right I did,” Blaine said in faux shock. “It’s 11:30 now. Go get ready for bed.”

Mattie grumbled but obeyed, giving me a hug goodnight.

Blaine walked me to the door then and we stood there in awkward silence. I wasn’t sure what to say to him, nor did it seem like he knew what to say to me. I knew I should apologize for the way I had behaved when we saw each other last.

“I’m sorry,” we said together.

“What?” I asked. “Why are you sorry?”

“Kurt, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset about Rachel. I overreacted.”

“No, no you didn’t. I should be the one saying they’re sorry. I shouldn’t have blown you off like that.”

“That’s okay,” Blaine said with a smirk. “You can always blow me another way.”

“Blaine!” I squeaked, blushing all over.

“Kurt!”

But with that wisecrack, I knew that everything was back to normal.

“I guess I left that one wide open, huh?”

Blaine gave me a look and I could tell he was restraining yet another innuendo from spilling out. I punched him on the shoulder.

“Ask him out on a date already!” Mattie called from around the corner.

I watched as Blaine’s color drained from his face, then quickly returned in a vibrant bright red. He whipped around just in time to see Mattie duck behind wall.

“Mattie!” Blaine choked. “What did I say? Go to bed!”

His little brother groaned and headed toward the stairs. When Blaine turned around, I could see that the boy had sat on the stairs, watching us still. I tried hard to bite back my laughter.

When I finally looked back at Blaine, his expression was one I hadn’t seen before. He looked conflicted, as if trying to decide something that I couldn’t figure out.

Though I didn’t know what he was thinking, I couldn’t help but blush slightly at my own ideas.

Blaine sighed, looking down at our feet. “I guess I should say goodnight.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“You will. Most definitely.”

“It’s a date then,” I said with more confidence than I knew I had.

With that I turned and walked back to my car, turning every now and then to wave goodbye.

As I watched Blaine close the door, I swore I could hear Mattie shout, “Aw man, you didn’t kiss him?”

And the whole drive home, I couldn’t stop smiling.