Hold On To What You Know

Prologue

What happens when all your dreams are lying on the ground?

Can you pick up the pieces all around?

And if the world should fall apart, hold on to what you know

Take your chances, turn around, and go.

If you'd have asked Blaine Anderson at the beginning of his senior year what he'd envisioned his life to be like four years from then, he would have had a very clear answer for you: making his way on Broadway as a graduate of NYADA, engaged (possibly married) to his high school sweetheart, and happier than he'd ever been in his entire life. 

Blaine Anderson did not graduate NYADA.  Blaine Anderson was not with his high school sweetheart any longer.

Blaine Anderson was, at the ripe old age of twenty-two, wondering why exactly he had felt so Goddamn lonely he'd hooked up with that...that guy on Facebook and effectively ruined his life. 

Blaine Anderson was scrubbing tables at the bar he worked at, listening with one ear to his boss talk about the band coming in for their sound check that night in order to play the next.  Up-and-coming, as they all were.  Good old boys from the mid-west, as most of them were.  He nodded vaguely, scrubbing harder at a particularly stubborn stain, and tried to remember if his assignment was due that Friday or the Friday after. 

Graduate school was...well, certainly not easy, but being a music major kept him away from Broadway for the most part and he did enjoy it, it was still something he was passionate about and maybe one day he'd be discovered singing in an old bar such as this one, the same way everybody got discovered these days. 

He'd ended up going to NYU; he knew that ex-boyfriend had gotten into NYADA his second time around and he couldn't go there, couldn't chance it, and although he didn't know where Kurt Hummel was now, he wasn't going to risk crossing paths with him (especially when he'd seen Rachel Berry's name around in the papers a few times, so he knew Kurt still had to be close).

He'd never fallen out of love with Kurt.  He knew that from the bottom of his heart, which was why he tried to think about him as little as possible.  He didn't blame Kurt for not forgiving him, of course not, but even though he'd had a lot of sex in the four years between then and now...a lot of sex...none of it meant anything.  The orgasm high only lasted a few scant moments before he was left empty and cold, and he'd never made a connection the way he had that first day on the staircase at Dalton. 

"So one of the boys...the drummer...he's coming in early to talk to you since you'll be manning the bar that night and you know how all the sound stuff works," his manager continued and Blaine listened a little more carefully. 

"What do they need?"

"Not much, they're just a three-piece band.  I guess they've got a keyboardist who comes along sometimes but he won't be here tomorrow so you don't need to worry about that," Mitch replied.  He was a good manager, all things considered; about ten years older than Blaine himself, but he paid Blaine well and when he'd discovered that the boy had talent that went beyond just mixing drinks he let him take part in setting up shows.

It wasn't Broadway, but it was better than nothing, and when it was really dead he'd get up and play sometimes just to keep himself in form. 

"Sounds good," Blaine nodded.  "When's the drummer getting here?"

"Few minutes," Mitch clapped him on the shoulder and headed toward the kitchen at the back.  "Drop what you're doing and walk through the set-up with him, and then the whole band will be back tonight to check sound after the bar's shut down," he called back and Blaine raised a hand in response, going back to scrubbing, tongue jutting out of the corner of his mouth. 

Nights when live bands played, especially rock bands, were always loud.  But he could usually get lost in the music and the routine of his drink mixing that way, slip a little for himself and find a hot guy to take home and fuck, and it had been a while since he'd gotten laid so he may as well take advantage of it, he thought as he straightened up and set the rag down.

That stain was as good as it was going to get.

He heard the door open and turned toward it with a smile on his face, but it quickly slid off when the band's drummer entered, because it was somebody that Blaine had never thought...and maybe never hoped...he'd see again in his life. 

He was only thankful he hadn't been holding a glass.

Because it would have been in pieces on the floor.