Kurt would perch nervously on the edge on the bed, like in the few hours since they’d been alone together he’d forgotten how to act around Blaine, and wouldn’t look him in the eye until Blaine leant forward, bracing his hands on his favourite spot low on Kurt’s hips and pressed their lips together. They always kissed like that, Blaine standing over Kurt, for at least a few minutes, savouring the fact that they could do this again after spending all day pretending they were only friends, before they settled down cross-legged at either end of Kurt’s bed to do their homework.

But despite their best efforts at concentration, focusing on trigonometry questions or papers on the French revolution was hard when you were only a foot away from someone who you wanted to curl up with and kiss into oblivion. They hadn’t kissed lying down yet, though - Blaine wasn’t ready for that. Kurt didn’t push it - but it didn’t mean he couldn’t imagine what it would be like, and occasionally Blaine would glance up and see Kurt giving him this look that made whatever he was reading blur into gibberish and set his mind wandering down a path that made him blush bright red to even consider. Over the course of a fortnight, Blaine went from being an (almost) straight A student to barely scraping B’s, if he was lucky.

Their relationship with the rest of the group was suffering equally as much. Once upon a time, it had been an unspoken tradition for everyone to congregate in the common room after dinner. Every day since Kurt’s birthday, he and Blaine had opted to skip out on that in favour of sitting back in their usual spots on Kurt’s bed, finishing off assignments or reading, more relaxed than before. They stretched their legs out and tangled their feet; sometimes Blaine would stroke absent-mindedly at Kurt’s knee as he read, glancing up every so often and always finding Kurt smiling down at him in a way that make Blaine’s chest ache with happiness.

Blaine knew he shouldn’t be dumping the rest of his friends for Kurt this way, but every time he thought maybe tonight would be the night that they broke their running streak and go to hang out in the common room, he caught sight of Kurt’s lips and thought about how they very definitely wouldn’t be on his if they were with their friends. Nor would Kurt’s hands be cradling his face. And they would only be able to intertwine their fingers under a table, if they could at all. And so every night Blaine thought maybe tomorrow and followed Kurt back to their dorm.

In fact, Blaine hadn’t seen any of his friends outside of class or meal times all week, not until he and Kurt walked into that week’s Warblers meeting a few minutes late, having gotten distracted by their last kiss before they left the room, something that happened so often Blaine often wondered why none of his friends were suspicious in the slightest. Not that them being late mattered too much in this instance - Mr Keating didn’t seem to be there.

They sat down next to each other in the front row, their legs closer than Blaine supposed was strictly necessary, a second before Nick bounced in, the last of their group to arrive, and instead of taking his usual spot between Jeff and Kurt, stayed standing up at the front of the classroom.

He leant against the front of Mr Keating’s desk, and Blaine wondered what he was doing. ‘Mr Keating told me to tell all of you guys,’ Nick started, ‘that he can’t make it this week, so we can either have the night off or we can run it ourselves and I have an idea.’ The last four words were said louder to be heard over Thad, who has immediately begun to insist he be in charge for the evening.

Once Wes had elbowed Thad in the ribs (possibly a little harder than necessary), Nick continued. ‘So Mr Keating is always going on about expressing our emotions, right?’ He looked at everyone in the group until they nodded. ‘And when we started, we asked him to make sure it was just us seven, so we’d feel comfortable doing that.’ Everyone nodded again. ‘Well, I think it’s time for a change.’

‘You think we should hold open auditions?’ David asked.

‘No - better than that. I think we should do a public performance.’

‘What - in front of everybody?’ Thad asked.

‘That is the meaning of public, Thad.’

‘Alright, alright, no need to be snappy,’ Thad said. ‘But how are we going to do it, exactly? Nolan will never let us.’

‘Well that’s why we’re not gonna ask Nolan, isn’t it, genius,’ Nick said condescendingly.

All of the boys sitting down looked at uncomfortably at each other. ‘Are... are you sure that’s such a good idea?’ asked Wes.

Nick rolled his eyes and looked to Jeff for back up. Jeff, however, didn’t look much more comfortable with the idea than Wes. ‘Oh, come on, guys! Don’t you wish there was a little more sensitivity at this school? More understanding?’ Nick exclaimed.

Blaine and Kurt looked at each other and then glanced down, suppressing laughs despite themselves. What did Nick know about wanting understanding?

‘We are all teenage boys, Nick,’ Jeff said. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I’d like more of that kind of stuff, of course I would... but I’m not everybody.’

‘Doesn’t have to be everybody!’ Nick exclaimed. ‘Even if it’s just one more person, isn’t that a step in the right direction? We can just spread it one person at a time. Slow and steady.’ The rest of the group still seemed reluctant. ‘Come on! We need to break boundaries! What the hell is the point of us even being here if we don’t at least try.’

‘Well... who would even sing?’ Thad asked. ‘What would we even sing?’

‘I dunno - we can sing whatever we want,’ Nick said with a wave of his hand.

‘Alright, but who?’ Thad insisted.

Nick looked at Kurt, about to speak, and he felt Blaine nudge him, but he shook his head slightly, sticking his hand up in the air. ‘Nick? I think Blaine should do a solo,’ Kurt said.

Blaine jumped in his seat. ‘Um, what? Kurt, no -’

Everyone else, however, seems to be making noises of agreement. ‘What do you reckon, Blaine?’ Nick asked. ‘You up for a little bit of emotional expression?’

‘Uh...’ Blaine glanced over at Kurt. ‘I - I don’t think I really have any emotions I need to express, actually,’ he said, his heart sinking as he saw Kurt’s mouth press into a thin line out of the corner of his eye.

Nick scoffed. ‘Come on. Everyone does. The best singer in this group thinks you should do a solo. Sing about how much you hate homework if you have to.’

Blaine glanced worriedly over at Kurt, who raised his eyebrows at him. ‘He’s right,’ he smiled, almost laughing. Then his voice softened, got almost imperceptibly quieter, and his eyes locked on Blaine’s. ‘You should do it.’

Blaine sat up straighter and looked around. ‘Well, I guess if -’

‘Hold on!’ Thad said sharply. ‘What if someone else wants to do one? Why does Blaine just get it like that?’

Everyone was surprised by the venom in Thad’s voice - it wasn’t unusual for Thad to be selfish, but he never directly attacked any of them like he had just done to Blaine.

David was the first to speak up. ‘Like Nick said. Kurt’s the best singer. He’s heard all of us sing. He’s the perfect judge - and if he thinks Blaine should sing the solo, then Blaine’s singing it,’ he said, his voice diplomatically smooth - the tone he always adopted when dealing with Thad.

‘He is not the perfect judge,’ Thad fought back, his eyes darting around at everyone glaring at him. ‘He’s biased.’

Blaine’s stomach dropped, his hand instinctively jumping towards Kurt’s - but Kurt’s hand was no longer there. He’d twisted around in his seat, up on his knees and hanging over the backrest, to face Thad. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

Thad faltered under Kurt’s harsh, defensive tone. ‘I - I - he’s your roommate, is all! You’re better friends with him than the rest of us!’

Kurt opened his mouth to respond, but David spoke up again before he could say anything. ‘What does that have to do with it? Kurt’s fair - he’s judging on talent, I’m sure.’

Kurt huffed out a heavy breath and smiled at David. ‘Yes. Thank you.’ He turned around and settled back into his chair, his leg brushing against Blaine’s as he did so. Blaine was very determinedly looking away from Thad.

Nick, who had leant back against the desk while observing the scene unfold before him with watchful eyes, stood up straight again. ‘So it’s settled? Public performance with Blaine as the soloist?’ Everyone nodded except Thad, who was still sulking.

‘When?’ Blaine asked. ‘How long do I have to prepare?’

Nick looked around the group. ‘A couple weeks? Is that long enough, Blaine?’

Blaine smiled through the nerves already surfacing at the idea of performing in front of a crowd - a crowd who probably would just want him to shut up the entire time. ‘Yeah, definitely. Sounds good.’

~

They finished up the meeting quickly after that, and Blaine and Kurt made their excuses and escaped to their dorm. Blaine shut the door behind him, and was surprised to find Kurt still standing in the middle of the room when he looked up, and even more surprised when Kurt took two long strides towards him before slipping his arms around Blaine’s shoulders and leaning in to kiss him.

Blaine’s hands hovered somewhere between Kurt’s waist and his hips, ghosting over the soft wool of his school cardigan, and he took a second to kiss Kurt back, moving cautiously - this was, apart from their very first this that night on the quad (which Blaine didn’t even think should count because he hadn’t had time to kiss back), new territory, Kurt leaning into him instead of the other way around. What was also new territory was how close Kurt was pulling him, his elbows locked around Blaine’s neck. Kurt was kissing him harder than he had before, moving his mouth over Blaine’s like he had a point to prove.

After a moment - too soon, Blaine thought - Kurt pulled away. For the briefest second he pressed their foreheads together and grinned at him, then his arms were no longer resting on Blaine’s shoulders and he was pulling out of Blaine’s barely-there embrace. He picked up his textbook for History and then plopped down on his bed, leaning back against his pillows. He looked pointedly between the end of his bed and where Blaine was still standing by the door until Blaine grinned at him, picking a paperback up off his desk before sitting cross-legged at where Kurt had been silently indicating.

Kurt flipped the textbook open to the pages they had been assigned earlier that day and rested the heavy book on his thighs as he stretched his legs out towards Blaine and began to read. Blaine tried to concentrate on his book, he really did, but Kurt was right there, and besides, he had a lot on his mind. The butterflies in his stomach seemed to have taken up permanent residence as the idea that he was actually singing a solo in front of the whole school sunk in, and he wondered why Kurt had picked him.

Kurt glanced up, smiling before he saw the concerned look on Blaine’s face, the way his eyebrows were knotted together in the middle. ‘You okay?’ he asked, his voice soft - they didn’t talk that much when they were sitting together on Kurt’s bed like this.

‘Why did you say I should sing the solo?’ Blaine asked in a breathy voice.

Kurt looked surprised. ‘I - I told you. I mean, Nick said, at least. You’re the -’

‘Nick is a better singer than me and you know it,’ Blaine interrupted. ‘Besides, if we were just going to have the best singer as the soloist then there’s no reason it shouldn’t have been you. Nick was going to say you should do it - and then you interrupted him and suggested me instead - and I just want to know why,’ Blaine rambled, the pitch of his voice getting higher.

Kurt exhaled slowly, and then glanced over Blaine’s head at the door. ‘Look,’ he said gently. ‘I know we don’t talk much, about - well about anything, actually, and we should talk more - but mostly, definitely, about - um.’

Blaine swallowed. ‘About the fact that we’re both... both guys.’

Kurt nodded. ‘Right. Because - well - I mean, I...’ He glanced up at Blaine and let out a shuddering breath. ‘I know. What I am. That I am... that I only like guys. Not girls. I figured that out a while ago, that’s - that’s kind of why I had to come here but -’

Blaine stared in wonder at the boy sitting in front of him, his mouth open a little. He could only imagine what Kurt had meant by that last part, but the ideas his mind was presenting him with weren’t pleasant. Kurt continued.

‘But I know that you’re probably not there yet - and that’s just fine. I don’t expect you to be, not at all. And I know it must be hard, for you to be figuring all this stuff out while you... I mean, I just don’t want you to feel like you have to have it all figured out for me.’ Kurt reached out and took the hand that was resting in Blaine’s lap, looking him in the eye with an earnest expression on his face. ‘And I want you to know that I’ll always be here to help you figure that sort of thing out - but...I know it can be kind of hard to talk about. You can’t just bottle everything up inside of you, though, and Mr Keating always talks about how singing is the best way to express emotion, and I just... wanted to give you the opportunity to do that through song. In case you felt you couldn’t do it through words.’

Blaine gaped at him, and Kurt huffed out a laugh at the shocked expression on his face. ‘I can be nice sometimes too,’ Kurt laughed.

Blaine could do nothing but nod, too many thoughts running wild through his head to speak. How had he gotten so lucky? Here was this boy who not only understood exactly what he was going through, but was desperate to reassure him that Blaine shouldn’t feel bad about still struggling to understand the entire situation, on the off chance he felt that way. This boy, who loved singing, but was willing to give up a major solo so Blaine would have an easier time of everything. This boy, who he - oh.

And there was that word, running through his head again. Loved.

Like last time, he felt his body react to it, but it was different now. He could almost separate his physical being from his consciousness - he recognised the way his heart was beating, the way his instincts were screaming at him to get out. But he didn’t want to do that, he didn’t want to leave; he wanted to stay here, stay right here with Kurt. So he ignored what his body wanted him to do, and instead did what he wanted to do - he leant forward and pressed his lips to Kurt’s, letting go of his hand so he could brace himself on the bed.

Kurt lifted a hand and pressed it to Blaine’s cheek. Blaine broke the kiss and leant into his touch, smiling to himself with his eyes still closed. Then he scooted to the edge of the bed closest to the wall and shuffled down until he was lying down next to Kurt. He reached one of his arms up to Kurt, who was still half-sitting up against the pillows, to indicate that he wanted Kurt to come down here too, and Kurt did, wriggling down until he was lying on his side, eye-to-eye with Blaine.

At Kurt being so close, Blaine’s flight instinct once again tried to get him to to get up off the bed, to push Kurt away like he had so many times already - and, once, again, Blaine ignored it. Instead, he wrapped one of his arms around Kurt’s shoulders and draped the other over his waist, pulling him close enough for Kurt to rest his head in the crook between Blaine’s neck and shoulder. ‘Thank you,’ Blaine whispered into Kurt’s hair before planting a kiss there.

It was he could say, really.