The Music Room
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Aug. 7, 2011, 7:57 a.m.


The Actor & The Musician

The Music Room: Chapter X


K - Words: 1,223 - Last Updated: Aug 07, 2011
Story: Complete - Chapters: 16/16 - Created: Aug 07, 2011 - Updated: Aug 07, 2011
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”I’m used to it, that’s just how it goes.” Kurt gave Blaine a weak smile, noticing the concern over the musician’s face, “but thank you.” He shifted his position a little more, less bend in the leg that was up to make himself more comfortable. Although he had the distinct feeling that it wasn’t actually the position he was in that was making him uncomfortable. It wasn’t even what he was saying specifically, it was the in between, the reliving of memories and emotions. The way he felt sick to his stomach thinking about the humiliation, the way his shoulders tensed up so much they hurt remembering the fear of being pinned with no possible escape. As much as he wanted to tell Blaine everything, he didn’t think that was entirely possible purely because he was sure his own emotional boundaries couldn’t be stretched that much just yet. Kurt turned his body a little to look at Blaine more easily, it broke his heart to know that out there in the past someone had hurt him so much that he was reduced to this. Of course, if Kurt was less obvious he might have done the same thing but he’d grown to accept that was who he was and embrace the fact he was different. After all, Lima would rarely be seeing him after he stepped on that plane on graduation day and even then it would just be to see his dad and then he’d be back in New York - which was at least a little more accepting and easier to be in and be himself in.

Kurt could feel his gut wrench at Blaine’s words, of course being a dramatic person generally made Kurt think dramatic too, but the way Blaine just said things made him freeze in some sort of shock. Living with it since I was a kid at home. Maybe he was jumping the gun, or maybe he hadn’t heard right or maybe he was just jumping to conclusions but at the same time he couldn’t help but wince at the image. How anyone could hurt Blaine completely confounded him. He was the sweetest, most caring and genuine person that Kurt had ever met and yet someone, more specifically relations, may have purposefully hurt him? The actor could feel the shock flooding his face, the widened eyes, the furrowed brows, the carefully pressed together lips to stop him from exclaiming his distaste in this information. He probably would have missed Blaine confession if it wasn’t that Kurt couldn’t stop listening to his voice, drinking in every single word. Blaine was like a puzzle yet he only gained small pieces at a time and some of them just didn’t fit together at all, and while Kurt had absolutely no interest in jigsaws or puzzles, he was captivated and so invested in understanding Blaine - who he was, who he is and who he would be - that he took in every single piece of information he possibly could just to do that. “Sometimes you have to stop being selfless, Blaine.” Kurt could hear himself say it, but he didn’t realize it was actually him until he’d sat back against the wall, staring out into the room and clearing his throat a little. “And… was that-” Kurt gestured to the piano, “-what you feel? Every single word?” He shook his head lightly. “You know… It’s… Why?”


Blaine ran a couple fingers through what certainly must have been a more messy, less gelled version of his normal hair style. His curls were showing a little through the facade of the excessive product he usually used to keep his hair in control. Another distraction, another way to keep his emotions at bay and below the surface while he focused on Kurt. But glancing over at him he noticed the worried expression on his face, probably from what he said about when he was a kid…. Blaine wasn’t exactly sure what to say, he wanted to reassure him that nothing that bad had ever happened, but his facial expression made it difficult for him to really be able to say anything on the subject matter. So what better way to deal with it then just deflect or simply ignore it entirely? He had already shared the fact that he wasn’t straight, implied that he had been abused by a relative, and basically told him he loved him in song. And while that was only half of it, he still didn’t want to overwhelm the actor, nor push himself to spill everything about his past…at least not quite yet.

Blaine raised a slight eyebrow at Kurt, “I’m not trying to be selfless, I’ve just seen people,” well just one person actually, “get completely berated for something they have no control over. And it’s not right, not in the slightest. Like…you and I didn’t have a choice, neither did he. So I don’t understand what the big deal is, and it frustrates me to no end.” …I did not just say he. Blaine ran a hand over his face, furrowing his eyebrows in the slightest bit of anger, because it really did just piss him off and upset him all at the same time. He took a deep breath, lowering his hand, and was once again caught off guard as Kurt motioned to the piano. Blaine thought for a moment, composing himself immediately as he turned to look at Kurt, once again meeting his gaze without the slightest hint of fear or worry about his feelings for the actor anymore…because now it was out there, and even if his friend didn’t want to admit it or didn’t exactly know…at least his subconscious would understand.

Blaine eyed the piano for a moment, hoping that what he was about to say wouldn’t ruin their friendship…because he had tried his very hardest to not say or do anything to jeopardize what they had. He turned back to Kurt, smiling ever so slightly as his fingers found his friend’s hand, “Yes, that’s exactly how I feel. Every single word and lyric I wrote…it all pertains to how I feel about you, whether as a friend or more.” Blaine instinctively scooted closer to Kurt, not really knowing what he was doing until it was already too late as he leaned away from the wall and turned his shoulders more towards Kurt. He reached his free hand to the man’s cheek, pulling his face closer to him and kissed him gently on the lips. Well here I go again pushing boundaries… Blaine couldn’t help but linger against his obscenely soft lips before fully pulling away, his expression immediately holding a guilty tone to it as he looked Kurt in the eye, “Sorry…sorry about that,” he said, dropping his hand from his cheek and leaning back against the wall. “I don’t exactly think before I do things like that,” he smiled a little nervously, lowering his eyes as he remembered that one of his hands was still touching Kurt’s. Blaine glanced at there hands momentarily, wondering if he should discontinue all touching for the time being…but couldn’t bring himself to stop, because somehow - even though he knew what he had done was wrong - he had a feeling there might have been something there, a spark perhaps…and it didn’t just come from Blaine.


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