When Kurt opened his eyes the next morning he was temporarily blinded by the sunlight streaming in through his window. He groaned and slammed his face back down. He couldn't remember why the sun was hitting him in the face, or why his pillow was suddenly so hard...he always remembered to close the shade before he went to bed. And speaking of the bed...why were his feet hanging off the edge of it? And why did his head feel like it was being beaten with a baseball bat? And why were his eyes so sore? What had happened last night...

Soon the memories poured into his head like a floodgate was opened. Blaine now being his employee and how it was Rachel's fault. Bill asking if he wanted to come over to escape her for a while. How Bill kept bringing him one more drink. One more. Each one getting stronger than the last and Kurt just kept getting more pissed off. Bill making out with him, and...oh God...Bill pushing him down on the couch...Kurt throwing Bill off of him and running out of the apartment. He knew it was a miracle that he made it home safe.

Kurt whimpered as he realized that his face was pressed against the top of his comforter. He had crashed down on his bed and never moved, that's why it was so hard under his face. It took him just a few more seconds to realize that he was still dressed in the clothes that had worn yesterday. Great...now he was going to have to pay extra at the dry cleaners to get the wrinkles out. Using a lot of strength he pulled his neck off of the bed and dared a look at the clock. It was 6:30 AM. At least he wasn't going to be late to work...but that meant that Rachel was still home and he really wanted a big glass of water. He had learned in his years that even though caffeine was tempting, it did nothing for his hangovers. Water and shower's did though...

He rolled his body up, vertebrate by vertebrate until he was kneeling on his bed. It was then that he realized that he didn't have shoes on. Rachel must have taken them off, Kurt thought. She would be comfortable enough with that but no more. Oh well. At least he didn't have to worry about his shoes on his bed not that it mattered since he didn't seemed to have moved since he flopped down. He stretched his feet down until they were on the floor and hauled the rest of his body into a upright position. It was going to be a long day.

Still, he moved across the hallway as fast as his body would allow him, sneaking into the bathroom and shutting the door, locking it behind him. Kurt had enough to deal with in the next coming hours without Rachel to worry about as well. He was never more thankful that they kept the towels on a shelf inside the bathroom than at that moment. Slowly he walked over to the shower and turned the water on as hot it would go. First off he needed to get rid of the knots in his body from the way he slept. Later he would switch to cold water, Kurt fully intended on using his extra half hour to take a half an hour long shower.

The next thing that he did was slowly peel off the clothes from the day previous. He felt like he was pulling off a second skin with how the fabric seemed stuck to him. When he was fully undressed he looked at the articles in his hands and frowned. Kurt was never this destructive to clothes and even though he could now afford all the dry cleaning...it fought against everything in him to see the clothes in such distress. He didn't even treat tee-shirts like this...

Unfortunately, there was nothing he could do about it now. Plus he doubted he would ever wear the clothes again seeing how they would just bring back too many memories of what had happened the night before. It wasn't that he wasn't attracted to Bill...obviously that was not the problem...but there were many other reason's why he was appalled with his behavior the night previous. He heaved a sigh and climbed into the scorching water of the shower. Kurt hissed through his teeth as the water hit his cold skin but he knew his body and knew that he needed this.

Kurt stood under the beating hot water for several long minutes. That was one thing that he had always loved about the place that he and Rachel lived, they never ran out of hot water. He had tried...an hour and a half and 10 pruning fingers later, and the water was just as hot. The knots in his back slowly began to recede and he rolled his shoulders experimentally. There was no pain so he slowly began to run shampoo through his hair.

He had always found showers therapeutic, right now was no exception. Kurt felt like he was washing away the mistakes that he had made the day before. He moved slowly, methodically, washing every part of his body with care. He paid close attention to what he was doing for the therapy part of it and partly to keep his mind off the coming invasion of thoughts and feelings. But still...the shower was the place that he ended up thinking the most and he couldn't help it when it started.

Yes, he was disgusted with his actions but it wasn't because of the person that it was happening with. Well...he wasn't that disgusted that he had made out with Bill. Bill was nice, he seemed like a genuinely nice guy and he must really have liked Kurt because he had moaned out at some point how long he had wanted to kiss him, even though Kurt couldn't remember when. It was just that...under any other circumstance, Bill would not have turned him on at all. It was strictly the alcohol and Kurt was appalled at himself that he might have led Bill on. Solely for the reason he really did want to have Bill as a friend. But he that was the only feelings he had towards the man, other than the fact that he had a nice ass.

There had been no exaggeration on Kurt's part that it had been a long time since he had another gay man to talk to about things. Yes, he had Cathy and Rachel but it really wasn't the same. He missed the feeling of having someone be completely on the same page as him, someone like him. Plus he really thought that Bill could be that person once they got to know each other better. They had things in common...just that Bill liked Kurt. And Kurt just...didn't return the feelings.

Then there was the fact that Bill and Kurt had only just become friendly in the past week. It was too short a time to harbor a relationship, and much too long a time for just a one night stand. Kurt had a rule to never hook up with someone that he knew for more than three hours, and it hadn't gotten him into trouble yet. He never liked having one night stands, it made him feel dirty and used. Still, he was human and sometimes he just craved the touch of another person and he had to act on it. New York was a place he could do that, he could be himself and not worry about it and having grown up in Ohio, he took liberties.

While all of these things were true...they weren't the biggest reasons that Kurt was so angry with himself. His main reason just sparked a never ending circle of anger. It made him mad that this was his biggest reason, but he had to be honest with himself if he was ever going to be able to move forward in his life.

It was Blaine.

If it had been Blaine instead of Bill, Kurt would still be at the apartment. Naked and under the covers curled around an equally naked Blaine. He would not have been able to stop himself. He wouldn't have wanted to. Just the thought of the possibility scared him as much as it was arousing. He just couldn't get close to Blaine in that way again. Letting him in would just letting himself be hurt by the same person again.

Kurt had learned a few lessons. One was if someone hurt you once, they can and probably will do it again. He had to pick and choose the people he was willing to be hurt for, and Blaine just wasn't one of them anymore. He had vowed to himself that Blaine would never hurt him like that again, not that he ever thought that the situation would ever come up that Blaine would...but still. Blaine had broken him. No, he had done worse than that...Blaine had destroyed him.

After so many years of people hating him for what he was, Blaine had really been the first that had loved him for it. Blaine had really showed him that not all people were evil and that he could be happy and loved. He was the first person that Kurt had torn down all of his walls for and Blaine had run circles all over that in cleats. Everything changed in Kurt that day he walked in on Blaine and Hunter. He retreated back into himself. Not letting himself really feel things because it was easier than being hurt. It was easier to just exist.

Blaine was the reason that Kurt didn't sing anymore. The hope and strength he felt when he sang was shot out of him when Blaine broke his heart. His heart had not been the only thing broken, so had his spirit. Now it hurt to sing. All he could think about was the happiness of the times he had sung in high school, with Blaine without Blaine, it didn't matter. All he could think about was the hurt. So he didn't do it anymore. Yes, he still loved music and appreciated it. But there was nothing to sing for anymore. What was the point?

He hadn't even realized that he had started to cry until his nose started to run. Kurt pulled in a shaky breath and wrung his wet hands together. He had to get it together. This was why he was doing what he was. Blaine made him crazy. And not in a good way. However, it was still nagging him that when Blaine had showed up it was the first time he had really felt any real emotion in seven years...

The end of his half hour shower was disappearing rapidly. Kurt knew that he had to switch to cold water now to shock his body out of the now sleepy and relaxed state it was now in. Whimpering he reached behind himself and turned the water down. He jumped when the first few drops of the water hit is overly hot skin. This is why he avoided getting hungover, the shower the next morning was torture. Yet, he forced his body to stay in the cold for a full 120 seconds before turning the water all the way off. He finally felt like he could face the bitch of a day he had ahead of him.

Sliding the curtain back he slowly and careful stepped out of the shower. Kurt crossed the length of the bathroom and grabbed a towel, he wrapped it around his waist and tucked it in that way it held itself up. Next he slowly wiped the fog off the mirror and peeked at himself. It wasn't a very pretty sight. He had large bags under his eyes and the whites of his eyes were mildly bloodshot. Kurt leaned in closer to the mirror and saw how pale he really did look. His eyes roamed further down to his next and he gasped. The hickey's there weren't large but they were numerous, and a vicious angry red. How could he not remember Bill doing that to him?

Continuing to analyze the marks on his neck he shook his head at himself. Silently he was wishing that the air was cooler this September day that way he didn't look vastly out of pace with a scarf tied around his neck. It had been unseasonably warm and Kurt knew that the news kept saying that the cold front was coming but it just hadn't hit yet. In his better judgement he knew that just because he needed today to be cooler meant that it wouldn't be, but he couldn't help but hope.

Knowing that the hour was slowly ticking by he cracked the bathroom door open and peered around the frame just to make sure that Rachel had indeed already left. He saw a white piece of paper taped onto his bedroom door so he knew he was safe. Letting the door open all the way he walked over to his door and pealed the note off. In Rachel's handwriting he read:

"I'm so sorry, Kurt. Blaine called me after I got out of work and explained what happened yesterday. I didn't know that Blaine could be that vindictive to take advantage of me like that to get information about you out of me. But I want you to know that I DID NOT just tell him things about you and I am sincerely sorry for what has happened on account of myself.

"I don't know what happened to you last night but I understand that you did not want to talk to me. I was just glad that Blaine had called to warn me about the state that you might come home in. He was worried sick about what you might do but he thought it would be worse for him if he waited for you to get out of work and make sure you were alright. Kurt, I know you don't want to hear this again...but you really should give Blaine another chance. I know personally how deeply sorry he is and how much he still really cares about you.

"Once again I am truly sorry about the repercussions of my actions. I hope you can forgive me and actually talk to me when you get home from work tonight. -Love Rachel

"PS: Don't go wherever you went last night again tonight. I've never seen you like that and I never want to see you like that again."

Well of course Blaine had called Rachel! That would be just like him to act concerned when it really was him that had caused Kurt to go out and drink himself into an almost stupor. Kurt felt anger flare though him and he crumbled the note in his hands, grumbling nonsensical words under his breath. He reached for the door handle and flung his bedroom door open, stomped inside and threw the note in the trash.

He stomped to the kitchen to turn on his iHome full blast. Kurt was past the point of caring if he woke up the neighbors, he needed to distract himself. He sighed in content as the loud music filled his eardrums and made thinking a little harder. Next he stalked over to the sink and pulled a large glass out of the cabinet above it which he proceeded to fill with cold water. Drinking deeply he felt anger leave his body. He had to get control of his emotions if he was going to be able to make it through the day.

For now though, he was just going to concentrate on getting ready. Taking his glass of water with him he slowly re-entered his bedroom and surveyed his closet. Knowing that Blaine was going to be in his workplace all day was stressful, and the need to look good but not too good was even more so. Plus, he had to find something that wouldn't look ridiculous with a scarf. He placed his cup down on his end table that way he could flip through his clothes using both hands.

It took Kurt the full hour to find a suitable outfit and to style his hair perfectly. He feared that he would be having to wake up earlier from now on to make sure he always looked prefect because Blaine was always going to be there. But that was a matter for a different day and now he had to face what was ahead of him. Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep calming breath before he set foot outside of his apartment. He wasn't looking forward to seeing Bill again this morning, and he really wasn't looking forward to talking to Blaine again. However, he knew what needed doing on both accounts and it was time to just suck it up and face it.

He clicked his iPod on as he slowly made his way down the stairs of the building. His scarf was securely fashioned around his neck that way none of the hickey's were visible, all he could do now was pray that it wasn't going to be another hot day. Sadly, as soon as he stepped outside he could feel that all his hoping was for nothing. Kurt could tell that it was going to be in the 80's today...it was a long way off from the 102 record breaking for September, but still too warm to be wearing a damn scarf. He shook his head and continued walking forward.

The walk to work seemed to take half the length of time it normally did. On most days Kurt looked forward to going to work, he enjoyed what he was doing with his life and who he was doing it with. Now, all that was shot to hell. He cursed Blaine in his head for messing everything up. But this wasn't all Blaine's fault. And right now he needed to talk to Bill if there was any chance of saving anything of the little friendship they had had the day previous. It was time to deal with this.

Pulling the door to the building open his eyes immediately were cast to Bill who was sitting behind his desk chewing on his nail. Bill looked as bad as Kurt did, if not worse, Kurt could tell that Bill hadn't slept all night. Bloodshot eyes met his and Bill sighed in relief.

"Kurt," it came out choked and cut off.

"Hey." Kurt said shyly.

"Oh my God. Are you okay? You like...didn't get hurt when you left did you? I was up all night, I was gonna come looking for you but I thought you might like...attack me. That's why I sent that cab after you." Bill spoke too quickly, eyes darting to and fro.

"Calm down, I'm not hurt. The cab found me not ten minutes after I um...ran out. Thank you sending it by the way."

"God Kurt, it was the least I could do. I am so sorry for...for jumping you like that." Bill's voice was steadier but there was something in his eyes that Kurt could not place.

In spite of this Kurt could feel a small blush rising on his own cheeks at the memory, "I-I hope this won't come between our friendship."

"Wait," Bill turned his head like he was confused, "you don't like...hate me now?"

Laughing nervously Kurt replied, "No Bill. I don't hate you now."

"Jesus. I guess I should have come with my own warning when I started drinking. I totally lose any sense of right and wrong and I get kind of...horny."

"Alcohol does horrible things to the best of us," Kurt reassured him. Bill looked like he was going to throw up.

"Yeah, but all you did was scream at me about other people. I almost like...raped you or something. I am sorry. I probably shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that..."

Kurt met Bill's eyes and he could detect a small look of regret inside of them. "So you didn't mean to get me drunk and take advantage of me?"

Bill's choked on the inhale he had just taken and sputtered, "Wha-at? No! O-of course not! It's just you were there on my couch and you looked so good and I had wanted to kiss you for so long and..." Bill said much too quickly with an air of falseness in his voice. However when Kurt watching him then turn a slight shade of red, he wrote the falseness off that had been in his voice as left over nerves.

"Is that why you always stuttered when you talked to me? Because you like me?"

"Yes, I-I suppose so" Bill said slowly, casting his eyes down to his desk.

"I wish you had told me that way we could have avoided this whole mess."

"So there's no hope for me then?" Bill looked up and smiled oddly.

Kurt returned a soft smile. "I'm sorry. Someone from my past just unexpectedly returned to my life. And I have a lot to work out with my emotions and this gentleman. Me being in a relationship would not be a good thing at the moment. But I do want us to have a friendship, just because I'm not...romantically interested doesn't mean we can't be friends. Does it?"

"No," Bill said slowly and quietly, "I have to ask though... Okay I have two questions."

"Shoot."

"Would I have had a chance before this person came back into your life?"

Kurt paled, "Do you want the truth?"

"Okay, I'm going to take that as a no and you're just to nice to say it."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I just...needed to know."

"Did you have another question?"

"Is the man Blaine?"

This time Kurt cast his eyes down and he whispered, "Yes."

"I'm guessing you don't want to talk about it?"

"No. Not really."

"Okay."

Kurt looked up and met Bill's eye's again and they shared a small smile.

"Thank you for answering honestly."

"I'm sorry if I led you on at all."

"Lets just say we're even now."

"Deal."

"Friends?" Bill asked sticking his hand out for Kurt to shake.

"Friends."

The pair clasped hands and shook. A smile was shared between them and Kurt felt a lot better about the whole thing than he had when he had walked into the building. He had known deep down that Bill would never have intentionally taken advantage of him but he had to make sure. Now they were on the same page with where Kurt stood when it came to a relationship...or lack there of.

Bill interrupted Kurt's thoughts when he sighed, "Well I guess it's better to know now. Now I have a chance to work on getting over you." He teased, winking.

Kurt felt the awkwardness of the situation dissipating, now it just felt like they were joking around as friends. As equals.

"Good luck. I hear I'm impossible to fully get over." Kurt teased back

"Nah, I just need to get laid and then I should be all set."

Kurt guffawed. "Good to know I won't have two guys hung up on me."

"Well I never said how long it would take me to actually get laid..." Bill trailed off, an expression that Kurt couldn't place passing over his features.

"I'm sure you'll find an eager participant soon enough," he tried to reassure.

"We'll see." Bill said with a sly smile.

Kurt cleared his throat nervously, the awkwardness having returned. "Well...I best get upstairs. Lots of work to do. Umm...thanks for talking about this. I'm glad we could uh work things out."

"Me too. You have a good day."

"Umm yeah. You-you to Bill."

Shaking his head Kurt walked over to the elevator. His whole encounter with Bill really had gone better than he was expecting. Even if he did have to be painfully honest about his feelings for Blaine and how Bill just would never have a chance. But now he had a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach from what Bill had said at the end of the conversation. Did Bill really mean that he was going to fight getting over Kurt? Or was Kurt just being overly paranoid about the whole thing?

Kurt didn't know how to interpret what was said and he would have to figure it out later because now he had to deal with Blaine. Which was really the last thing he wanted to do after the emotional roller coaster of a ride he had already experienced this morning. He was having a hard time just placing what he was feeling while he was riding upstairs in the elevator. Emotionally...he was already drained and he had no idea what was going to happen to him when he saw Blaine, let alone talk to him.

He sighed deeply when the elevator dinged and the door opened on his floor. All Kurt wanted to do was just run away and never have to deal with this. How did his life end up in such a mess in just a few short days? Oh yeah...it was Blaine's fault. Once again Kurt felt anger flame through his body as he marched to his office. He was sick of his drastic mood swings.

Pushing the door open he groaned when he saw what was sitting on his desk. It was a beautiful bouquet filled with lilac, white tulips, and hyacinth. The bouquet was stunning and unique, he knew it must have had to be special ordered and in that case expensive. Slowly he crossed the room and stuck his face into the flowers, breathing deeply, the aroma was calming and relaxing and he smiled.

"Good morning Kurt," said a soft voice behind him. He jumped, startled and pulled his face out of the flowers.

"Hi Blaine," he said back while he slowly turned around to look at him.

The shorter man was leaning against the side of the doorframe of Kurt's office. His arms hanging awkwardly at his sides, hands clenching and unclenching like he didn't know what he should be doing with them. Kurt had never seen him look so shy. But when their eyes met, Blaine pulled in a breath through his teeth.

"Kurt. Your eyes are like...really bloodshot. Are you allergic to the flowers? 'Cause I mean I basically just picked them for what they mean. The hyacinth means sincerity because I've meant everything I've said to you my whole life and I wanted to remind you of that. The white tulips means forgiveness because I'm really sorry for yesterday I wanted to apologize and-and the lilac...well the lilac means first love." Blaine ranted and then blushed.

"I'm not-"

"God, I'm such an idiot! I didn't even think you would be allergic. You never were before but... Here, give them to me and I'll take them away. I'm sorry. I just continue to shoot myself in the foot with you, don't I?"

Blaine had reached his hand out for Kurt to hand him the bouquet, "You're not taking away my flowers."

"But-you're allergic-"

"I'm not allergic. I love them actually. It's a beautiful bouquet. Thank you."

"No!" Blaine's voice was rising, "Your eyes are bloodshot. You are obviously allergic. Quit trying to humor me. You look flushed too. Kurt, I know you love them but you gotta take off that damn scarf. Here..."

"No! No, Blaine don't!" But Blaine walked forward anyway and started to untie the scarf around Kurt's neck.

Quickly he revealed the marks that were there. A choked sob came out of Blaine's throat as he involuntarily ran his thumb over one of them. It was a feather light touch but Kurt felt sparks zip through his entire body. It had been years since he had been touched so gently...and this was Blaine. Suddenly Kurt was aching for Blaine's mouth to start leaving it's own marks and he tilted his head without thinking. At the motion Blaine dropped his hands and stared Kurt in the eye.

"Who did this to you?" Blaine practically growled, punctuating each word.

"Blaine? What-"

"Answer me! Goddamn it, Kurt! Tell me!" Blaine was now actually yelling.

Now Kurt was outraged. Mostly at himself for almost letting Blaine in once again. But at Blaine as well. What right did Blaine have to yell at him about who he did things with?

"It's not any of your business!" Kurt yelled back moving behind his desk.

"Like hell it isn't," Blaine snarled as he walked to the front of Kurt's desk and leaning over it, "tell me."

"No! I will not tell you! You get no say in who gets to leave his mark on me anymore!"

Blaine winced at Kurt's words. "I know. But please, please just tell me." He was almost whimpering now.

Kurt glared, "Why do you even care so much?"

In response Blaine's eyes narrowed and he leaned away from Kurt, "Because I'm still in love with you. God, are you really so dense that you can't see that? I've loved youeveryday since that first kiss! I've never stopped. And you haven't made that fact easy Kurt Hummel. But hell if I'm giving up. I tried, for seven years I tried. Not anymore. Are you happy now? Are you happy knowing this? That I love you, Kurt?"

All Kurt did was stare at Blaine while he was talking. Blaine was no longer yelling but he might as well have been with how much emotion was in his voice. Kurt had never heard anything like it, and it was something that he knew couldn't be faked. Tears spilled over his eyes at how Blaine just continued to stare at him. It literately brought him pain to what he had to say next.

"You have to understand Blaine, you cheated on me. For seven years I never allowed myself to think anything different than that you didn't care me. You just waltzing back can't change that. Maybe now that we work together you can work on getting over me-"

"I don't want to get over you! Don't you understand that? You are the love of my life. I can't live without you anymore. It's you Kurt, it always has been, and it always will be." Now Blaine was crying.

Sobbing Kurt said, "I c-can't Blaine. I can't do this again. I trusted you."

"I know," Blaine said smiling through his tears, "that's why I'm here, that way I can earn your trust back once again."

"It won't be easy."

"I know," this time the smile reached his eyes and Blaine wiped the tears away.

"You don't give up do you?"

"Not for you. Never for you."

Kurt smiled sadly as he said, "You work here now. We have to get along. So lets put this behind us and move forward."

"Deal. Can we hug on it?"

"Blaine. We are co-workers, not friends. It would be best for all of us if you learn the difference."

"Oh we'll see about that..."

Kurt couldn't help the twitch of his lips as they curved up into a smile.